Where You Are
by gooseles
Summary: The challenges, circumstances and events that led to Sunshine and Mary-Courtney reconnecting. Sequel to "A Different World".
1. Life With Charlie

I jumped slightly as I felt additional weight on my bed and a pair of arms slip around my waist.

"Charlie...is that you?" I murmured sleepily.

"Damn well better be", my boyfriend of less than a year joked.

"Baby, I'm so glad you're home."

"Me too, Mary-Courtney", he sighed, hugging me. "Me too."

I sat up and turned the bedside lamp on. The clock on the nightstand read 2:27 a.m. It was late and I was dead tired after a long day with an equally longer day fast approaching. I knew all too soon there would be the familiar annoying buzz of my alarm clock sounding off at an all too bright and early 6:00 a.m., a necessary evil if I wanted to make it to job on time. After graduating high school at T.C. Williams in Alexandria, Virginia, I had attended Skidmore College in Saratoga Springs, New York. New York was such a huge change from Virginia but all my life, as much as I loved my home, I had always wanted to get out and travel the world meeting new people and seeing new things. College and being on my own for the first time was a whole new exciting world. I graduated with a degree in general business management and not long after was recruited for a job in Public Relations for an advertising agency in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I enjoyed my new life and my new job and my new but tiny apartment in the city. I had new friends and even made enough cash to buy myself my first car...a brand spanking new silver 1978 Pontiac Trans Am. Life was sweet and I was happy and things couldn't have been better. Then I met Charles Foreman. As long as I live I'd never forget the day the handsome sales representative walked into one of our office meetings. His face was strong and striking and handsome, his brown hair slightly shaggy and his blue suit a little rumpled. But he was smart as a whip and just as friendly and kind as he was good looking. He was a good boy, as my mama would say, and soon he became my boy. After all the pretty girls in short skirts swooning and carrying on over Charlie, he asked me out. On our first we saw a movie and then he took me dancing. Charlie was...fun. A little too fun maybe. I'd never quite met anybody like him. He was wild and crazy and spontaneous. After just a few months, he suggested we move in together. For a small town, proper, Christian girl, the whole idea seemed ridiculous to me. Everyone knew you were supposed to be married to a man before you lived with him, my God, what would my mother say? She'd have a conniption fit for sure and for that very reason alone is probably why I went along with Charlie's idea. The fact that we were so opposite was a good thing and really endeared me to Charlie but sometimes I felt like I was someone else, living another person's life almost. Here I was on my own, living my life, taking care of myself as a young professional woman but deep inside I never lost sight of the shy Southern belle from Virginia who would always remain inside me.

"How was your trip, sweetie?" I asked as I yawned and stretched my arms.

One of the perks of the company was that Charlie and I both often got to travel the country.

"Same old, same old", he shrugged. "Miami's always fun but it wasn't the same without you. I know I would have had tons more fun if you were there."

I smiled and stroked his face. I did miss him when he was gone for days, sometimes weeks at a time but another part of me secretly enjoyed the alone time. But I was happy. Day to day I was never quite sure where the relationship was going with Charlie and that was the fun part. He brought out a whole new side of me, one that I hadn't known existed.

"I bought you a present though", he said, reaching for a small white shopping bag.

"Charles David Foreman! What did you go and do that for? You didn't have to get me anything."

"Now I couldn't come home without something for my favorite girl. Here baby. Open it up."

I looked in the bag to find a beautiful blue scarf.

"Oh Charlie! Oh honey, it's absolutely gorgeous! Thank you. I love it."

"And I love you", he grinned. "Listen Mary-Courtney, I've been thinking...you and I both have been so busy with work and all. I was thinking maybe we could take off a week and go on a vacation or something."

"A vacation? Where would we go?"

"Virginia", he answered with a twinkled of mischief in those baby brown eyes.

"Virginia, huh? And why would we go there. What are you up to Charlie?"

"I don't know", he shrugged. "It's just that I really love you and we've been together for a while and things are going great now but...I don't know. You never talk about home or your past or anything. I just want to see what your life used to be like. I want to meet your friends and your folks, baby. What do you think about that?"

I honestly didn't know what to say. Charlie and I never had talked much about my life before him and before Milwaukee. Not that I was ashamed of anything. I loved my parents, even though they annoyed the hell out of me for the most part and my friends meant the world to me. I could close my eyes and in a second sweet memories would take me back to the days of hanging with Gerry, Emma, Rev, Petey, Alan, Louie, Julius and the gang. Although time and circumstances didn't allow us to get together frequently, we'd all managed to stay in touch somehow the years since school.

"I don't know, Charlie. I guess that would be okay. I mean, if you really want to..."

"Baby, don't sound so excited", he laughed sarcastically.

"No it's not that, it's just...I don't know. It's weird sometimes with Mama and Daddy. Weird and complicated. I haven't been home in a while. Sometimes they can be total nut jobs, if you know what I mean."

"All parents are. I think that's their job", Charlie laughed. "I don't care about that. Besides, they can't be that bad being how they raised such a beautiful and wonderful girl. But I really want to meet them. I think we'd have a nice time."

"Okay", I finally agreed.

After all, just how bad could it be? It had been over a year since I last saw my parents and just the thought of seeing my old high school chums brought a smile a mile wide to my lips.

"Okay?"

"Okay", I grinned.

"That's more like it. That's the smile I love to see. What do you think about the end of next week?"

"Sounds good. We'll just have to put in for a few days off."

"No problem. Oh baby I can't wait. This is gonna be a great time, I can tell it already."

Charlie's enthusiasm was contagious. It made excited.

"Yeah it'll be fun. I must warn you though, Virginia winters can be brutal. We get a lot of snow sometimes around this time."

"Baby, I grew up in Chicago. Trust me, you don't have to tell me twice about brutal winters."

I looked up at him and smiled.

"Okay. Virginia it is then. Next week we'll be there with bells on, rain, shine, snow or sleet."

"Hell or high water", he grinned.

"It's getting late, sweetie. We both have long days tomorrow that start way too early. That clock is gonna be buzzing before we know it. Let's go to bed."

"Let's...", he agreed, taking off his shirt and snuggling next to me.

In less than a minute I felt his hands under my shirt tickling the underside of my belly.

"Hey", I laughed. "I thought we were going to sleep."

"You said bed. I didn't hear a thing about sleep."

I laughed as he pulled me towards him.

"Mary-Courtney, I love you", he said in a serious tone. "I really do love you."

I ran my fingers through the tussled mop on his head. Charlie was my man and I loved him and I loved being intimate with him. Still sex was a very touchy issue for me, dating all the way back to my unfortunate loss of virginity to Ray Budds. In all aspects Charlie was twice the man Ray could ever hope to be but still I could never let myself go and be completely comfortable in his arms, even in the most private and intimate of situations.

"Is everything okay, babe?" he breathed. "Are you alright? I mean, if you don't feel like it or whatever..."

"No it's okay", I quickly said, putting a finger to his lips. "Of course I want to."

He smiled again and placed a lingering kiss on my lips.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Charlie."


	2. Reunions

"That Charlie is the nicest young man."

I half smiled as my mother went on and on. It was three days into the visit and things were going well, in fact much better than I ever could have imagined. Of course my folks read me the riot act for not visiting as often as I should have but I probably deserved it and even that didn't last too long. I had to admit that I was glad to see them and glad to be home. My biggest concern was how they would get along with Charlie but it had been sugar and spice from the time we stepped in the door. I could only hold my breath as we only had two more days left of the visit.

"He is a great guy", I nodded.

"Is it serious?"

I shrugged truthfully.

"I don't know, Mama. We're happy enough, I guess."

"Happy enough for marriage?" she hinted with a smile.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I had been hearing this since I was four years old. I was supposed to find a nice Southern gentleman from a good family, marry him right out of high school and devote my life to being his beck and call and bearing his babies.

"We're married to our careers right now."

"Nonsense", she scoffed. "You're not getting any younger. You've done the whole college and career thing already, Mary-Courtney. Now it's time to get down to what's really important. Life is about family."

I bit my tongue. My poor mother who had lived in Alexandria her entire life and married my father when she was 18. I always wondered if she was happy, truly happy or just content because she didn't know any other way. Normally her insistence on me getting married and dumping my career would send me into a spastic rage but this time I took it all in stride and let it go with a deep breath. I had always wanted her to accept me for who I was, maybe I had to be willing to give her that same unconditional acceptance in return.

"Come on Mama. The tea is ready", I said as we carried trays out to the living room.

I took a seat listening half heartedly as Charlie and Daddy talked politics. I sat with baited breath as my ultra conservative Republican father discussed various issues with my left wing, liberal boyfriend. But there was no tension and no arguments. They got along perfectly.

"Mr. and Mrs. Davis, I just want to tell you it has been an absolute pleasure these last few days being in your home. Thank you so much for having me and for making me feel so welcome."

"The pleasure is ours", my mother nodded like a true Belle.

"There's just one more thing I have to say...um, I already discussed this with you Mr. and Mrs. Davis so now I guess it's between you and I, Mary-Courtney. Forgive me because I'm nervous but I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me. We've been together almost a year now and you've made it one of the greatest years of my life. I am a very happy and lucky man and I was hoping...Mary-Courtney Davis, will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

I couldn't believe my ears and eyes! There was Charlie on bended knee kneeling in front of me shaking like a leaf as he desperately tried to steady the small black jewelry box in front of him. He opened it and there was a sparkling diamond ring.

"Oh Mary-Courtney!" my mother exclaimed, barely able to contain her joy.

Even my father was smiling.

"Mary-Courtney...honey...say something", Charlie nervously smiled.

I didn't know what to say. A marriage proposal was the last thing I expected.

"Are...Charlie, are you sure?"

"Sure I'm sure", he grinned. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

I couldn't speak or move. All I could do was react with a dumb half smile plastered across my very confused and surprised face. I guess Charlie took that as a "yes" because the next thing I knew, he was sliding that ring on my finger.

"I am just tickled pink!" my mother grinned. "Now we have a wedding to plan! We have to find you a dress and I know the perfect flowers and..."

I couldn't take it anymore.

"Mama, Charlie and I have to go. Um, we'll talk about this later."

"Go? But..."

"We're meeting some friends in town. We'll be back later."

Without further explanation I grabbed his hand and practically dragged him out the door. He didn't seem to mind. Charlie was on cloud nine and he talked non stop the entire way to the local pub located downtown. Between the sound of his voice and the ring on my finger, I could barely concentrate on what was real anymore. I felt like I was on a different planet. Nothing was making sense. Nothing that is until I looked across the bar. I'd recognize that big head anywhere. Leaving Charlie where he was, I ran over and grabbed the man from behind.

"What the..."

"Tell me it hasn't been that long, Petey Jones!"

He turned around and swooped me up into a giant bear hug. He finally put me down and I almost cried. Looking back at me were Gerry, Emma, Alan, Rev, Julius and Blue. We hadn't been all together like that in years but it was as if we'd never been apart. Time stood still whenever us Titans reunited. I quickly ran around the table and hugged everyone. There were two women I didn't recognize, one a pretty brown skinned lady and the other a petite blonde. They were introduced to me as Julius and Alan's respective wives. I quickly learned that Blue's girlfriend was working that night and unable to attend and Rev's wife, at five months pregnant, was at their home resting.

"It is so good to see all of you. I have missed you guys so much", I squealed.

"Good to see you too", Alan smiled. "By the way, aren't you gonna invite your friend to sit down?"

"Huh?"

I followed everyone's gaze over to the corner where Charlie was smiling sheepishly.

"Oh my gosh, y'all. I'm so sorry. I was so happy to see y'all again that I forgot my manners. Charlie, baby, please sit down. Charlie, meet Gerry, Emma, Alan, Alan's wife Marie, Rev, Julius, Julius' wife Brenda and that's Blue over there. Everyone, this is my friend Charlie."

I didn't even notice him wince as I referred to him as a "friend".

"Friend?" Emma scoffed. "By the look of that rock on your finger, seems to me there's more to this little friendship than meets the eye."

I looked down at my ring and noticed for the first time that it kind of sparkled.

"Oh. Uh, Charlie and I...well me and Charlie, um..."

"We're getting married", he finished.

The whole table erupted into applause while I blushed.

"Well Charlie, here's to you and me, man", Gerry said as he raised a beer. "Because I just proposed to Emma last week and if you know these two women like I know them, we're gonna be in for it while they plan the social bashes of the year."

Charlie and Gerry and the others toasted while Emma giggled excitedly and compared rings with me. I was just so happy to be back with my friends, nothing else mattered. We laughed and talked and remembered the old times. Not much had changed. Petey still bragged, some five years after we graduated about how many yards he gained every season. Blue still burst into song at any given moment. Rev was still the same kind hearted, gentle soul he always was.

"Do you remember that time you got grounded for dancing with me at Jr. Prom?" Blue laughed.

"How could I forget?" I said, between swigs of beer. "With all those chores that was the longest month of my life!"

"And what about that time you dared me to run across the football field naked?" Petey chimed in.

"Like I really thought you would do it", I said, laughing so hard my sides ached as I remembered.

"And don't forget that time we went camping..." Alan added.

There were a million and one stories, a million and one memories. I had shared good times and bad times, love and loss, joy and fear with these people. We were forever bonded. I was a part of them and they were a part of me. Our lives had taken all of us in different directions but no matter where we went or what happened, it was always "home" whenever we got back together. We sat at the table for hours reminiscing as well as playing catch up. When it was way after midnight and the manager politely told us it was closing time, none of us wanted to leave. I gave them all one last lingering hug. Good byes were always sad but in our hearts we knew it was only for a little while.

"Why don't you and Charlie stop by my mama's house before you leave", Rev said before we parted. "I know she and my pops would love to see you again. You were always like family, Mary-Courtney."

"I'd love to", I smiled. "I know we're gonna be crunched for time trying to catch our flight and all but I promise to stop, Rev."

"It was nice meeting you, man", Charlie smiled as he and Rev shook hands. "I had a good time. Hey it should be no problem running by your house before we leave but why don't you and your folks come over to the Davis'? Maybe we can all have lunch before we take off."

Rev shot me a questioning glance as we both looked at the hope and sincerity in Charlie's eyes. All I could do was shrug and give Rev another quick kiss on the cheek before Charlie and I disappeared into the darkness, snuggling close together as we made the short walk back to my parent's place.

"I like your friends", he finally said. "They're so nice."

"Yeah they are a great bunch. I miss them a lot. We had some fun times together."

"Sounds like it. I kind of felt left out of the conversation a few times", Charlie joked.

"I'm sorry, baby. We tried to include you. It's just that we don't see each other often but when we do get back together, it's like it was five years ago. The gang just reunites and nothing changes."

"It's okay. I had a good time Mary-Courtney and I loved listening to the stories. You were a little firecracker back then. You guys had some crazy times."

"Yeah", I smiled fondly.

"I still don't get one thing though."

"What's that, babe?"

"Why did your parents ground you for dancing with Blue at the prom that time?"

I looked up at Charlie who was dead serious. We'd come from such different backgrounds and I knew he'd never understand no matter how many times I explained it.

"It's a long complicated story, Charlie. It's not a big deal though. Maybe I'll tell you about it some other time, okay?"

He shrugged and gave me a kiss. When our faces finally pulled away, we looked to see the first few flakes of snow falling. It was a beautiful night. It was a beautiful time.


	3. Home Bittersweet Home

"Spring weddings are lovely, don't you think?"

I tried not to gag as Mama went on and on and on about my impending nuptials. I'd barely had the ring on for 72 hours and already she was planning the wedding, reception, and births of her future grandchildren. And there was Charlie sitting right along with her graciously going along with everything being said. I secretly hoped that he was just sucking up and trying to stay on my parents' good side. For me it was way too soon to be making any long term plans. Nothing was set in stone and it wouldn't be until Charlie and I had a nice long talk back home. Back home. Gosh, I yearned to be in the safe, cozy confines of our Milwaukee apartment. We would have already been there too if it hadn't been for that damn snowstorm. Sure the first few flakes were beautiful as Charlie and I enjoyed a romantic moonlit walk back to my folks' house. But those pretty flakes soon turned to a heaping blanket of white that seemed to go for miles. Virginia hadn't seen weather like that in years. It was being classified a blizzard and one strong enough to shut down the surrounding airports for days.

"Whatever you say, Mama."

"And what about a reception right here in the backyard? It's big enough, don't you think?"

"I guess but we have plenty of time to think about that. Charlie and I haven't even decided where we want to be married."

"What do you mean?" my mother asked with a semi horrified expression. "Aren't you going to get married here in Alexandria? You've gone to Silver Creek Baptist Church your entire life, Mary-Courtney. Of course you would want your wedding to be there."

"Yeah but we live in Wisconsin now and Charlie's family is back in Illinois."

"Yes but what about..."

I simply tuned her out. Shame on me for even contributing to such a ridiculous conversation anyway.

"We'll figure something out, Mama. I just want it to be practical for everyone."

"Charlie, it's too bad you didn't get to attend service as Silver Creek", Mama turned to my fiancé, completely tuning me out. "It is lovely. It's one of the oldest churches in the city, absolutely beautiful. Mary-Courtney grew up there singing in the choir. She has a lovely voice, you know."

"Yeah I've heard it in the shower."

From the look on Charlie's face it was obvious he caught his "slip of the tongue" as soon as the words rolled clumsily out of his mouth. My Christian parents had no idea we were living together out of wedlock and if they did it would kill them and they in turn would kill me. It was my secret rebellion, so to speak.

"Well yes, I'm sure you two have found a nice church out in Milwaukee", she continued despite her beet red face.

"Well I'm not exactly what you would call a real religious person, Mrs. Davis. Actually, I haven't been to Synagogue since I was a teenager, probably right after my bah mitzvah."

The words seemed to come out of Charlie's mouth in slow motion and I was right there gesturing with every hand and facial movement to get him to shut up before he said too much. But it was too late. As he got the last sentence out, my mother and father happened to simultaneously taking sips of their respective drinks. The minute they heard "synagogue" and "bah mitzvah" they both spit those drinks out simultaneously. I was mortified and there was poor confused Charlie covered in recycled iced tea.

"Synagogue? Bah mitzvah?" my dad said with a puzzled looked. "You aren't Jewish, are you boy?"

"Yes...yes sir", Charlie nodded. "I thought you knew. I mean, I thought Mary-Courtney told you."

"No. No she didn't tell us that part."

My father sat in his old recliner sullen and quiet as he pretended to watch the television. There was an eerie and extremely uncomfortable silence that followed. No one knew what to say after that.

"Well that teacher on that show, what was it, Welcome Back Kotter...he was Jewish wasn't he?" my mother finally offered.

I laughed before I could help myself. That was the best she could come up with.

"I think I'm gonna get some air", Charlie said as he headed for the front door.

I couldn't follow him fast enough. He stood on the porch with his back to me for what seemed like forever.

"The snow is really pretty", he mumbled.

"Charlie I'm sorry."

"For?" he asked, finally facing me.

"For them. For what just happened."

"I don't see what the big deal is. It's 1978 for Heaven's sake. Are you gonna tell me they hate Jews or something?"

"Not hate but something like it", I blurted out truthfully.

It pained me to see Charlie's face fall.

"What?"

"You know how you always tell me about growing up in Chicago? What your parents and friends were like and stuff? And you always say that I never talk a lot about my past. Now you know the reason why. I love my parents, Charlie. They're my mother and father and they did the best they could for me and I love them but I'm nothing like them. They come from another time and I can understand that in their day people didn't race mix and all that. But this is a new day. Times have changed and they've been changing for a long time now. My parents just chose to remain in the dark ages. I don't think they're bad people necessarily but they are ignorant. After all these years they haven't changed and they probably won't change and it's very sad. They might say that they think people are equal and deserve fair chances and stuff but they mean the people that look and act like them. You know, when I was a junior the city integrated the schools. It didn't bother me a bit but a lot of folks around here threw a fit. It was so much hatred and tension and misunderstanding especially when they demoted the white football coach and gave it to a black guy from North Carolina. All hell nearly broke loose. This whole town was in turmoil. But those players, high school football players came together and it was like magic. They brought the whole town together. It was a beautiful time. That's why you see the bond with us. It's so much more than friendship, Charlie, it's like family. Eventually it got better and people starting respecting and accepting one another. Mama and Daddy just don't happen to fall into that category. They're set in their ways. They didn't like me going to a mixed school, they hated when Rev tutored me in math and Blue and I danced together at prom and one of the neighbors chaperoned and told Mama and she and Daddy just about lost it. That's how they are. And not just to blacks. I had a real nice boyfriend from a nice family who moved here from California. He dressed and acted a little different and wore his hair slightly longer than the rest of the fellas around here so everybody assumed he was a hippie. My parents hated him...didn't allow him past this front door here for over a year. And I'm sure some of their closed minded opinions pertain to Jews as well. I'm sorry, honey."

Charlie just stood there taking all my words in as fast as I could spit them out. He looked hurt but he desperately tried to understand, probably for my sake.

"Don't be sorry baby", he finally spoke. "It's not your fault."

"It'll be over soon. We'll be back home and everything is gonna be okay, Charlie."

"I know."

"Still love me?"

"I'll never stop", he said with a look that made me know he meant it.

"I love you Charlie Foreman."

We kissed and he held me for a long time on that cold night. Finally we broke away.

"It's late Mary-Courtney and I'm kind of tired. I think I'm gonna turn in. Um, maybe the airports will open and we can get a flight out tomorrow."

"I hope so. We'll check first thing."

"Okay. Good night, babe."

"Night, Charlie."

We went back inside and he headed up to the guest room giving my parents a nod of quick acknowledgement. I stood in front of the roaring fire trying to warm hands that were cold as ice.

"Mary-Courtney can we talk for a minute?"

The dreaded talk that I knew was coming the instant Mama caught me alone.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Charlie of course. He...he..."

"He what Mama? Twenty minutes ago he was the greatest thing since sliced bread and now there's a problem?"

"But he's...you know...he's a..."

"A what? A Jew?"

"Well yes."

"Look at you, you can't even say it. It's not a bad word."

"You can't seriously marry him, Mary-Courtney."

"And why not? I love him, we make each other happy...what's the problem?"

"He's Jewish."

"So was Jesus Christ!"

My mother's face lost all color.

"Jesus Christ most certainly was not! Besides, don't bring Him into this."

For someone who was such a religious fanatic, it never ceased to amaze me how she could twist and turn things from the Bible all to fit in her warped interpretation.

"Mama, please don't do this. Not now."

"Mary-Courtney, can you imagine the rest of your life with a...a dirty Jew? Having little Jewish babies?"

"Yes I can, Mama."

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph! If your grandmother were still alive, God rest her soul. I'm sure she is spinning in her grave right now. I can't let you do this, Mary-Courtney. Marrying Charlie Foreman will be the biggest mistake of your life. Your father and I won't allow it."

"Allow it? Allow it! Mama, have you gone mad? I am 23 years old. I am an adult living on my own. You don't make decisions for me anymore. Those days are long over. It's not up to you, Mama. Do you understand that? Now you and Daddy can be there on the biggest day of my life or you cannot be there. That's up to you but I'll be damned if I let you ruin it for me."

"Mary-Courtney!"

I brushed past her and slipped back into my coat.

"Mary-Courtney, where do you think you're going in this weather?" my father demanded.

"Out! Away from the two of you", I said, wrapping a scarf around my neck. "I'll be back later. In the meantime try not to lynch my sleeping fiancé, will you?"

With that I slammed the door and stalked onto the walkway. The snow, powdery and soft was knee deep and it was hard to keep my balance. I was freezing my butt off and my nose was running like I was two years old but there was no way I was ready to set foot in that house again. I prayed to God to let there be a plane available first thing the next morning. I wasn't sure I could deal with my mother and father another day. Walking alone with my thoughts I saw lights on a street corner a few blocks over. It was one of those new all night diners and I could see a few patrons scattered about. My hands nearly froze to the door as I opened it. 

"Well come on in, sugar", a nice older lady with red hair said. "Looks like you could use a cup of hot coffee to warm you right up."

"Yes ma'am", I replied gratefully.

I slipped into a booth and waited for coffee that arrived piping hot a few seconds later. I tasted it and definitely could have stood for more sugar. The packets at my table were empty. I cursed to myself and looked around. The place was virtually empty except for a man a few booths in front of me. His back was towards me but I could see a full stack of sugar packets on his table.

"Um excuse me sir, I hate to be a bother but could I borrow a couple packs of sugar, please?"

"No problem", he answered, handing me several packets.

"Thank you. I..."

I stopped in mid sentence. I couldn't get words to form. I'd know that beautiful face, those gorgeous eyes anywhere. The blonde hair was a bit darker and shorter and the face less boyish but there was still the same dreamboat I had met seven years before.

"Ronnie Bass...is that you?"

"Oh my God...Mary-Courtney!"


	4. Familiar Face

I stood absolutely frozen and it had nothing to do with the bitterly cold weather outside. There sitting just a few feet in front of me was my first love, my first real love, Ronald "Sunshine" Bass. Hundreds of memories raced through my mind. I remembered the first time I ever saw his face, the first time we ever talked, my first night hanging out with him and his family, our first kiss, our first dance...it had been an amazing time and he was an amazing person. Truthfully I had probably loved him the first time I saw him but it took some time and a little bit of drama before we finally got it together. He had always loved me so patiently and tenderly. At an awards ceremony honoring the '71 Titan players and coaches, I had finally accepted and confessed my true feelings for him. From that moment on, we became inseparable. We had loved each other with such a beautiful gentle passion. There was junior prom and of course an unforgettable 1972 summer where we spent every waking moment together laughing and talking and swimming. He started as quarterback the next year and I faithfully cheered him on through the less than perfect 9-2 season and I was there to hold him when the team lost the game that would have put them in the finals. We were each other's confidant and best friend and we pledged our live twice that May of 1973. The first was when we made a promise to always be there for one another even though he was going to the University of South Carolina and I had been accepted to Skidmore in New York. The second was the night of senior prom when in an act of the purest love, we conceded to physical want and gave ourselves to one another. That night, the best of my life, would bond us forever. I knew I would love him always. And I did. The first few years of college we saw each other regularly during the summer and holidays. After junior year visitation became less and less frequent and we knew that although the love we shared would always remain, it was time to go our separate ways. Still the entire four years we wrote to each other faithfully once a week every week. I saw him once and only once after college. We spent the day together and had a wonderful dinner...Ronnie, myself and his serious girlfriend, Pamela Murray. We had lost touch but over the years I often thought about him, sometimes wondering what he was up to and always wishing him well. Now here he was sitting before me.

"Mary-Courtney, it's so good to see you", he said hugging me. "You look great."

Being in his arms again always took me to that magical, special place. It was our place.

"Ronnie...it's you. It's really you."

He motioned for me to sit down and we stared at each for a while.

"How have you been?" he asked finally.

"Good. Good. And you?"

"Everything is great. I work as an account manager for ABC and I'm still living in South Carolina. Found this great little cabin by a lake and uh...everything is going well for me. Um, what about you? How are you doing? Where are you living now?"

"Milwaukee."

"Milwaukee? You like it?"

"I do actually. It's a nice place. I do PR for an advertising agency. It's nice. Good people and all. I get to travel a lot which I really like and the pay is nice."

"Sounds great", he smiled. "It seems like you're doing well for yourself."

His eyes kept diverting to the ring on my left hand.

"It's new", I blurted out. "My boyfriend, I mean, my fiancé Charlie just gave it to me."

"Congratulations. When is the wedding?"

"I don't know. We haven't really talked about it or anything."

"That's cool", Ronnie smiled. "Is he a good guy?"

"He's the best."

"Good. I'm happy for you, Mary-Courtney. You deserve the best."

"So um, what are you doing here? I had no idea you were in town. I got together with a few of the guys the other night. We sure did miss you. We would have called if we'd known you were home and all."

"Yeah it was kind of spur of the moment. I didn't really tell anyone. I just sort of showed up. I didn't expect it to snow like this though. Man, this weather is brutal."

"Tell me about it. I can't get a flight out of here."

"I drove and the roads are too bad for me to try to head back so I'm sort of stuck."

"Bummer."

"Yeah...it was..."

He gave me a look, THE look and I felt my whole face flush.

"So what else is going on?" I asked, quickly trying to change the subject.

"Nothing much."

"You seeing anybody?"

Smooth, Mary-Courtney, real smooth. Why did I have to be such a blubbering idiot sometimes?

"You remember Pam, right?"

How could I forget? How could anyone forget Pam? Beautiful, evenly tanned, blonde haired, blue eyed, body right out of a fashion magazine Pam.

"Of course. You guys are still together? That's great. How is she? Did she come up with you?"

"No", he said quickly with a rather sad tone.

"Oh."

"She...um, Pam isn't doing too well, Mary-Courtney."

"Is she sick?"

"Yeah...it's leukemia the doctors say."

I instantly recoiled at the word and the saddened expression on his face.

"Leukemia? Oh dear. Oh Ronnie, I am so sorry. Um, is she...are you okay?"

He shrugged and took another sip of coffee.

"I'm fine but I really worry about her. She tries so hard to be strong but it's really hard to watch someone you love be so sick. She's dying and there is nothing anybody can do about it...not the doctors...not me."

His voice trailed off and instinctively I covered his hand with my own.

"Does she have much time?"

"A few months they say. But each week it seems to get worse, you know? I hate it. I hate not being able to help her. That's like the one thing I can't handle. It's been really getting to me so I decided to take a few days off and come home. Alexandria will always be home for me. I needed a break. I needed to get away and see Mom and Dad and just be some place happy and familiar."

"I'm sorry. Gosh, Ronnie I have no idea what to say. I wish I could help or do something for you or Pam. I guess all you can do now is just be with her and love her. And I'll keep her in my prayers and thoughts."

His eyes had welled with tears.

"Thank you, Mary-Courtney. That's very kind of you. It's nothing anyone can do now. I guess it's all in God's hands. But this...right here...being with you now it helps. It's nice to see a familiar face."

"I agree", I smiled.

"Now enough about me. Tell me more about you and your new life. Tell me about this guy."

"His name is Charlie Foreman and we work for the same company. We've been together almost a year. It's good. We're happy. I love him and out of the blue he popped the question the other night. Surprised the heck out of me, that's for sure. I guess he's ready to make an honest woman out of me on the account we've been living together for a few months."

"Living together?" Ronnie's eyes widened. "That's cool. I mean, it's 1978, right? Times are changing."

"That they are."

"Girl, if your parents knew..." Ronnie laughed.

"They don't and I'd like to keep it that way. Poor Charlie's at the house with them now but he's sleeping. We're trying to leave as soon as possible tomorrow. There was a mini blow out tonight. Charlie let it slip that he was Jewish and all...well, you know the rest."

"I can imagine."

"I needed to get away from them for a while."

"Some things never change. Remember all those nights they used to get on your nerves and you'd sneak out to my place?"

Remember? Just like it was yesterday.

"I'd throw a pebble at your window to get your attention and since I can't throw worth a spit, rocks would be everywhere."

"Yeah", Ronnie laughed.

"Looking back, your parents had to know, right?"

"I don't know", he shrugged. "They probably did but they never let on. They trusted me...they trusted us."

"They sure did. Gosh, we were so young...so in love back then. We used to have so much fun together. It was a crazy time but it was simple back then as well."

"I know what you mean, Mary-Courtney. You know, I'm glad I ran into you tonight. It's so good seeing you. I can't believe we lost touch like we did."

"I know. But never again, huh?"

"Never again", he grinned in agreement. "We're going to exchange phone numbers and addresses."

"And we'll visit too. In fact, I think I'll see you next month when Emma and Gerry get married. They were talking about mailing you an invitation."

"Emma and Gerry? Rock on. I always knew those two would end up together."

"We'll have ourselves a Titan reunion. Louie's coming in from Tennessee and everything."

"That's gonna be awesome. Dude, we're gonna party on. We haven't all been together like that since graduation."

"I know."

We chatted some more and as time passed it felt more and more like the good old days. Sometimes his hand would brush mine or I'd catch him staring at me and all of a sudden I was taken back years later. He was sitting in front of me in a little diner but my eyes wouldn't see it. Instead I'd flash back to 1972, me in my cheerleading uniform, Ronnie in his letter jacket, sitting in Col. Bass' Corvette making out like crazy on the Hill as we listened to the Beatles. I was having the time of my life even though we were waiting out a storm in a hole in the wall drinking stale, unsweetened coffee. It didn't matter. Looking back, the best times in my life had usually been with Ronnie Bass.


	5. Old Letters, New Feelings

"Charlie, don't sit down! Damn baby, be careful. Don't you see my dress sitting there?"

Charlie made a face as he quickly moved to another end of the couch. As plain as day was my beautiful lavender bridesmaids dress for Emma and Gerry's wedding.

"Why don't you just hang it up in the closet?"

"Why don't you hang it up, Charlie?" I snapped. "Goodness. You see me trying to write out all these bills. I can't do everything around here."

"Well excuse me, Princess", he said in a snotty, sarcastic tone. "Please allow me to be a servant at your beck and call and hang up your precious gown."

"Charlie you may as well quit because I am not in the mood. Either hang it up or shut it up."

"You know Mary-Courtney, it's so nice to come home after a hard day's work and put up with your shitty attitude", Charlie huffed as he carefully put the dress on a hanger. "Is it too much to ask for a man to want to come home and watch some TV and spend some time with his girl while he sits on his couch in his underwear eating spaghetti out of a can?"

"You have such a flair for the dramatic", I observed. "Now where the hell is the electric bill?"

"Oh I opened it babe."

"Well where is it now? What did you do with it?"

"I don't know. Check that shoe box you keep in our closet, the one with all the papers in it."

"Why on earth would you put it in there?"

"I don't know baby. I thought that's where you kept the bills."

I rolled my eyes as I walked back to the bedroom and removed the shoe box from atop the closet's top shelf. I pulled out tons of papers and as I finally found the bill, with it fell another envelope. I looked and saw the post mark...October 12, 1973. My heart skipped as I recognized the penmanship. With shaking hands I opened the letter.

_12 October 1973_

_Dear Mary-Courtney,_

_I just received your letter in the mail this morning and I was so excited to read it that I could barely concentrate on my classes today. I think about you so much and you always say that you think about me too. One of us is gonna have to do something because I swear if we keep going in this path, both us might flunk right out of school. It's taking everything inside of me to not jump on the first bus to New York. But it's always nice to hear that you miss me because I miss you too...more than you can imagine and certainly more than I can put into words. I've been teaching myself to play guitar and I wrote my first song about you. Actually it's pretty lame but it's from the heart so I know you'll love and appreciate it anyway. You always do because you're the best girl in the whole world and I'm the luckiest dude alive because I have you. It made me laugh out loud when you wrote that you actually threw up when you read my last letter. Babe, I didn't know your stomach was that weak. It was just me telling you what I can say right now (I need you and I miss you) and what will take the rest of my life to express (I love you). But you know that already. I just wanted to drop you a quick line but I have to get going for practice and all. The weather report said it was gonna be warm this weekend so I was thinking about taking my board to Myrtle Beach and getting one last wave in while I still can. Think of me on my surf board while you're bundled up in New York, ha ha! Just kidding, baby. Take care and I'll call you soon._

_P.S. Go see American Graffiti if you haven't already...kick ass movie!_

_All My Love,_

_Ronnie_

__

"Babe, are there any more Corn Flakes left?"

The sound of Charlie's voice quickly snapped me back into reality. 

"What?"

"Corn Flakes! I thought we bought a new box."

"Yeah...in the cabinet, right side I think."

"Cabinet? Honey, you know I like to keep my cereal in the fridge."

I rolled my eyes. Maybe it was a Southern thing but who in the world kept cereal in a refrigerator?

"Well whatever, Charlie. Put it in the fridge then."

I was too consumed to even argue. Reading that letter took me back to my dorm room at Skidmore. My hands trembled, my lips smiled and my heart melted much like it did the day I first read it.

_29 April 1974_

_Dear Mary-Courtney,_

_Baby, I'm sitting here in my dorm room taking a break from cramming for finals and I can't believe we're almost done with our first year of college! Time really flew by, huh? Seems like just yesterday we were back in Alexandria partying with Petey, Rev, Louie and the gang. I had a great time at school but honestly I can't wait to go back to Virginia. Alexandria is my home now. Mom and Dad called a few days ago and they said Dad is planning to retire in a year or so and they plan to stay in Alexandria. So I guess that is home now. It will always be my place to come back to. It's great because I love our house on the Waterfront and Mom and Dad seem happier than ever. Plus, I get to go back this summer and hang out with the greatest bunch of guys I know. Now and for the rest of my life I will always consider Gerry, Alan, Blue, Louie, Rev, Leroy and Petey like brothers. Meeting them was almost the best part about moving to Virginia...the BEST part was meeting you. I really mean that Mary-Courtney and I want you to know it. You have no idea how happy you made my last two years of high school and I'm glad we were able to make it work in college being so far away from one another. But I think our love is strong enough to do anything. When I think of the fact that I get to see you in two weeks and we'll be together and entire summer, I get so excited that I don't know what to do with myself. We're gonna have so much fun, babe, I just know it. I can't wait to see your face and hold you in my arms. Remember how nice it was during Winter Break and we went sledding on Christmas Day? And what about the time you caught the bus down and surprised me here. It was just a few days but they were some of the greatest days of my life. It's always a great time when we're walking and talking and laughing together. I'll especially never forget that last day when I took you to see the big soccer game. It was so nice laying on the blanket and having a picnic and making out. I love making out with you and I remember it was so cute because you were worried that some of the other spectators would be able to see what we were doing. They probably didn't but I don't care. I was with my girl and that's all that matters. We'll have plenty of days ahead this summer and for the rest of our lives to picnic and watch games and hopefully make out...a lot!! Just kidding babe. Well not really but you know how I am. I guess I should wrap up for now and get back to the books. I will see you very soon and I can't wait!_

_Love You!_

_Miss You!_

_See You!_

_Ronnie_

__

I closed my eyes and tried to remember every moment at the USC soccer game. The sandwiches we packed, the clear and sunny skies...the way he touched and kissed me underneath the blanket. I smiled as I remembered every single minute, every tiny detail about the way he made love to me. Ronnie was always so tender, so gentle. He would undress me and touch me like he was unwrapping a precious and fragile gift.

"Hey Mary-Courtney, why don't you take a break and come out here and watch some TV with me?" Charlie asked. "All In The Family is on and that's your favorite."

"Uh, yeah in a minute Charlie. I'm almost done."

I looked through the box that contained dozens and dozens of letters from Ronnie. One in particular caught my eye because of the date.

_16 January 1975_

_Dear Mary-Courtney,_

_I've been staring at this stupid blank piece of paper for hours now because I couldn't think of the right words. Are there ever really "right" words for this? I don't know. Things are so different between us now and I never thought it would be like this. Our lives are headed in two opposite directions and so are we. I really thought it would work and a big part of me still wants it to but I don't know how it will. I never thought we would actually break up but I suppose that's what it's coming to. You kind of made that clear over the holidays but I guess you were right. Maybe it's been over for a long time but neither one of us was willing to admit it. Please don't think of this as a "Dear Jane" letter. This isn't good bye, not by a long shot because I love you with all my heart and no matter what happens or where we go, that will always be the case. Never forget that, Mary-Courtney. But I guess it's best of we take a small break and concentrate on school and all the other things we have going on. You're still the sweetest girl I know and the best friend I've ever had and I always want you in my life. I hope we can remain friends and stay in touch. It kills me to think there might ever come a time when we become strangers to one another. We've been through too much and our feelings run way too deep...I'd never let that happen. So I hope you understand and all will be well. Even though this is what we have to do, don't think it isn't breaking my heart because it is. I don't want to hurt anymore and I don't want to hurt you. My greatest wish is that you always be happy no matter what. I know you want the same for me as well. Your unselfishness proved that when I offered to transfer to a school in New York just to be near you. As great as that would have been, you wouldn't let me because you know how important football is to me here in South Carolina and you didn't want to jeopardize any opportunities for me. You have a heart of gold and I admire you kindness and compassion so much. You are a wonderful person and I am so confident that fate will cross our paths once more. That's what gets me through these difficult times. I hope you feel the same way. Regardless, I want to know how you feel so please respond to this when you can._

_I Love You,_

_Ronnie_

I could still remember the pain of that very day so long ago. I did write him back and we did remain friends. We continued to write on up until graduation.

"Mary-Coutney!"

"Coming Charlie."

I took a seat in the living room right next to him.

"You okay, sweetheart?" he asked.

"I'm fine."

"Sorry I sat on your dress."

"It's okay."

"It's beautiful...I'm sure you'll look great in it. I was just wondering when you were gonna get your own dress, you know, for our wedding."

"I don't know", I shrugged. "Soon I guess."

"I hope so. It's just that...I don't know, you never talk about it. It's like you're more excited about going to Gerry and Emma's wedding than our own."

I rolled my eyes.

"It's not that. We all have a lot going on now and I'm trying to do one thing at a time. Let's just get through this and then we'll concentrate on our stuff, okay?"

"But Mary-Courtney..."

"Charlie, please. Honey, not now. Not tonight. Let's just go to bed and discuss this later."

He looked hurt but he nodded and silently followed me. I felt like crap for taking out my frustration on him. Charlie was a terrific guy. I loved him, he loved me and we were going to get married. And we'd have a happy, perfect life together. If that was the case, why couldn't I get Ronnie Bass out of my mind?


	6. Ken and Barbie

We arrived at Silver Creek Baptist Church in the nick of time. As a bridesmaid I definitely didn't want to be late for the rehearsal. Of course the flight had been delayed, the rental car reservations lost and then there was the matter of checking into a hotel. Charlie had insisted because of my parents and I couldn't much blame him. At a hotel at least we wouldn't have to listen to their crap and we could sleep in the same bed.

"So this is the church your mom wants us to be married in?" Charlie asked as we got out of the car.

"This is it."

"It's really nice and big too", he said as we went inside. "Wow if we do it here I can only imagine how beautiful you're gonna look coming down this aisle."

He said it with a sweet sincerity that made me smile and grab his hand.

"Come on, sweetie. We're gonna be late."

As soon as we were inside it was like a Titan reunion. I waved and gave everyone quick hugs as the Wedding Planner began to get everyone situated in their places.

"Okay we have the bride and groom, Emma Hoyt and Gerry Bertier", the woman began. "As the ceremony starts, Gerry will be at the front along with his Best Man, Julius Campbell. The first person down the aisle will be Anna Beth Wright, the Maid of Honor. Each groomsmen will march the entire length of the aisle and take his place behind the groom and Best Man. Then a bridesmaid will walk and stop at this pew, which is exactly half way down the aisle. The groomsmen will then walk back down the aisle and escort the bridesmaid the remainder of the way to her position behind the Maid of Honor. After all groomsmen and bridesmaids are in place, the Ring Bearer and Flower Girl will follow and then the bride and her father will make their entrance. The order and pairings of the wedding party will go as follows. First groomsmen and bridesmaid will be Jerry Harris and Sandra Emerson. Second are Alan Bosley and Donna Tucker. Next are Daryl Stanton and Wilma Fitzgerald. Louis Lastik and Katherine Jackson, Tom "Petey" Jones and Lisa Wilson and finally Ronald Bass and Mary-Courtney Davis."

I made a small but audible gasp as the Director read the final list of pairings. Ronnie and I were going to walk down the aisle together. I looked across the way and he gave me a shy smile. All eyes in the church were upon us but no one dare spoke a word, except Petey that is. He took one look at Ronnie, one look at me, one look at Charlie and another look at Ronnie and burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

"What's with that guy?" Charlie asked.

"Nothing", I sighed. "He's just being Petey. Look, I have to do this practice run through, alright? It shouldn't take long. You'll be okay sitting here?"

"I'll be fine", he said giving me a quick kiss.

I hurried off and found my position with the rest of the party. Rehearsal ran on rather quickly and I managed to make it through both practices simply by not looking Ronnie in the eye. It was better that way. We were friends and on good terms but the whole church, wedding, holding hands down an aisle thing was just too intense and way too awkward. I was relieved when it was over and then it was on to the rehearsal dinner, which was being held at a nearby restaurant. It was good food and a relaxing couple of hours. The more time that passed, the more the older adults began to disperse. Pretty soon it was the groom, bride, groomsmen, Charlie and myself left.

"One more round of shots", Petey announced as he lifted his glass. "And this is to my man, Gerry. To your last night of freedom and uh, just so you know, my car is out back so it ain't too late to back out."

"Petey!" Emma screamed, playfully smacking him.

"What? You know I'm just kidding, baby girl", he grinned.

"It's alright, Petey", Gerry said. "You don't have to worry about me backing out. I ain't heading nowhere except for that church tomorrow. Emma, I can't wait to marry you, sugar. Been waiting on this moment my whole life."

They kissed and we all gave a sappy "Aaawwwwwww" as the two lovers kissed. I was so happy for Gerry and Emma. It was as if God had made them for one another. Ever since we were little kids they had been the real deal. They kissed and looked in each other's eyes like they were the only two people on earth.

"This is a great moment", Alan said with a smile. "Gerry and Emma, I'm really happy for you guys. I always knew you would end up together."

"Really?" Emma asked with a smile.

"Shoot yeah", Blue agreed. "Y'all are like the perfect couple. Been together forever."

"Hey, you know who was the perfect couple?" Petey asked, the liquor obviously starting to talk for him.

"Who?" Louie asked.

I prayed the conversation wasn't going to drift where I thought it was.

"Old Sunshine and Mary-Courtney!"

Damn me for always being right. 

"That's true", Julius smiled. "Y'all were pretty cute together."

"Cute?" Petey continued. "Hell if they were any cuter, they would have been cocker spaniels. Mary-Courtney and Sunshine were the all American couple, the Barbie and Ken of T.C. Williams."

I love Petey to death but sometimes he didn't know when to put a cork in it.

"That was a long time ago, Petey", Ronnie tried to laugh.

"It wasn't that long ago. Besides man, you really loved that girl. Y'all were always good together. It's a shame y'all didn't work it out."

"Petey", I said, clearing my throat and gesturing towards Charlie.

"My fault, man", Petey added quickly. "I wasn't trying to be rude. I was just saying that you never forget your first love, that's all. No hard feelings, huh?"

"No hard feelings, bro", Charlie said as he returned his low five.

There was a mild level of discomfort but it was getting late and we all needed to head back. I said my good byes to everyone and Charlie and I drove back to the hotel in pleasant silence. I was exhausted and looking forward to a hot bath and a long rest.

"Tonight was a good time", Charlie observed as he walked into the bathroom. "I think the wedding is going to turn out nice."

"Yeah", I agreed.

I really didn't want to talk, I just wanted to continue soaking in the bubble filled tub.

"Mind if I join you?"

I did but I didn't want to be rude so I nodded. Charlie joined me in the small tub and sighed as the warm water engulfed us.

"So..."

"So..."

"You and Sunshine used to be quite the hot couple, huh?"

"I don't know. I guess."

"How come you never told me about him?"

I gave Charlie an "A" for effort at least trying to sound casual.

"I don't know. Is it that big of a deal?"

"No, not really. I guess not. Um...why, why did you guys break up?"

"Because we grew apart. Shit happens Charlie, you know? We were just a couple of high school kids when we got together, then we went to college in different states and our lives were different and we were different. We grew up, I guess."

"Was it real? I mean, at the time."

"I suppose it was", I murmured honestly.

"Did you guys ever...you know? Was he your first?"

"Charlie Foreman, I am not answering that!"

"Sorry. Geez, babe, I didn't mean to offend you or upset you."

"Then why are you asking me all these ridiculous questions?" I asked as I hopped out of the tub and reached for a towel.

"Because...I saw the way he looked at you tonight."

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know but it was a look. I can't describe it but you can tell there's a whole lot of history there."

"Well I think you're seeing things. Just don't let it bother you."

"It didn't bother me half as much it did when I saw the way you looked back at him."

I stopped dead in my tracks. Charlie had definitely struck a nerve.

"Charlie, let's not do this now."

"Are you still in love with him? That's all I need to know. Just answer that one question."

"Charlie, I love you and I'm not gonna answer that because you're acting real silly right about now."

"It's okay", he said with a sad look. "I think you just gave me my answer."


	7. Here Comes The Bride

I nervously shuffled in my bouffant bridesmaid gown. The wedding was starting and I could already see Julius and Gerry in place at the front of the church. Gerry looked more nervous than a rooster in a hen house but both men were exceptionally dapper in their tuxedos. Everyone looked so beautiful. I watched with a smile as each groomsman and bridesmaid walked down the aisle. Then it was my turn.

In accordance with the service, the men walked first and alone down the entire aisle. I watched as Ronnie did a slow, graceful march and took his place directly behind Petey and the others. Then it was my turn. I tried to smile as I walked. I could see my parents on the right side of me and a few pews up to the left, there was Charlie. I tried to focus and look straight ahead. Everybody was looking at me. I wondered if that's how it would be with my own wedding. I tried to imagine myself in a white dress, on my father's arm with Charlie waiting at the front. There was no Charlie as I stopped half way but there was Ronnie. He moved towards me in slow motion. I wanted to look away like I did in rehearsal but I just couldn't. I could only look straight ahead and at him. When he linked his arm in mine I thought I might faint.

"You ready?" he whispered.

"Yes."

"You look really beautiful."

"Thank you."

We walked the rest of the way and I let out a huge sigh of relief when I was finally in place. The kids were next and finally it was Emma's turn. She looked absolutely breathtaking in that white gown standing next to Mr. Hoyt. I looked over and saw the sweet emotion written all over Gerry's face.

"Dearly beloved" Rev. Davidson began. "We are gathered together here in the sight of God and in the face of His company to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted by God, signifying the mystical union between Christ and His church, which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with His presence and His first miracle at the wedding at Cana of Galilee, and is commended of Saint Paul to be honorable among all men: and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God. Into this holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. If any man can show just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter hold his peace."

The church was quiet except for the sniffles of Mrs. Bertier and Mrs. Hoyt. My emotions were threatening to get the best of me as well as I was thrilled for Gerry and Emma, yet inexplicably bothered by the dual presence of both Ronnie and Charlie. My thoughts slid to a standstill as the congregation bowed their heads for the Lord's Prayer.

"Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done. On earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen."

My eyes were beginning to tear as it was time for the happy couple to exchange vows. Gerry's voice sounded so strong and so sure as he turned to Emma, looked her right in the eye and lovingly repeated the sacred words.

"I, Gerry Bertier, take you Emma Claire Hoyt, to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love.  
I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever.  
I will trust you and honor you  
I will laugh with you and cry with you.  
I will love you faithfully  
Through the best and the worst,  
Through the difficult and the easy.  
What may come I will always be there.  
As I have given you my hand to hold  
So I give you my life to keep  
So help me God."

A huge smile crept to my lips as I heard the catch in Emma's voice as she spoke the same vows through tears.

"I, Emma Claire Hoyt, take you Gerry Bertier, to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love.  
I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever.  
I will trust you and honor you  
I will laugh with you and cry with you.  
I will love you faithfully  
Through the best and the worst,  
Through the difficult and the easy.  
What may come I will always be there.  
As I have given you my hand to hold  
So I give you my life to keep  
So help me God."

I wiped my eyes and listened on through more prayers, hymns and the ring ceremony. Finally the pastor pronounced Gerry and Emma, husband and wife. He tenderly lifted her veil and planted a sweet, lingering kiss on her lips. The church erupted into applause as we all walked back down the hall. Then it was on the banquet hall just a few blocks down the street for the reception. I watched with such pride as well wishers and guests greeted everyone in the receiving line. In my mind I could see Emma and Gerry sneaking their very first kiss on the monkey bars on our elementary school playground. I had been with them through all the good and fun times on the lake and even that scary night after their car accident. Through it all, they had loved one another with everything they had and that love had conquered all. My heart bubbled over with happiness for them and from the corner of my eye, I could see Charlie watching me. He was a good man, he really was, and we did make each other happy. I could honestly say I loved him. I tried hard to picture our own life and wedding together.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you look today?" Charlie asked as he walked up to me shortly after Gerry and Emma's first dance as man and wife.

"Oh about a million times", I smiled.

"Well make it a million and one. You look great."

"Thanks, baby."

"May I have this dance?"

I smiled as the smooth sound of Diana Ross and the Supremes began to play. Charlie pulled me close in his arms and we began to sway to the music.

"Mary-Courtney, I just wanted to tell you again how much I love you. Babe, I do so much. I hope you never get tired of hearing that because I'll never get tired of saying it. Gerry and Emma had a beautiful wedding today and I can't wait until it's our time. I will marry you anywhere, anytime."

I looked into his eyes and saw a comforting warmth and sincerity. I wanted to marry Charlie too but there was something inside me that was holding back.

"You're a good man, Charlie Foreman and I don't even know if I deserve you. I'm a lucky girl."

"I'm the lucky one", he breathed as he kissed me.

We pulled away and I buried my face in his broad shoulder as we moved to the sound.

_You're far away  
From me my love  
And just as sure my, my baby  
As there are stars above  
I wanna say, I wanna say, I wanna say_

_Someday we'll be together  
Yes we will, yes we will  
Say, someday (some sweet day) we'll be together  
I know, I know, I know, I know_

I looked around the dance floor and there were couples everywhere. I smiled as Gerry and Emma laughed, kissed and whispered to each other. It was a room truly filled with love and happy people. It was nice to see the faces I hadn't seen in a while, faces I had grown up with. My eyes wandered across the room and just a few feet away there was Ronnie dancing with Sheryl Yoast, who at 16 years old, was still a beautiful tomboy. I couldn't help but stare and finally his eyes met mine. Neither one of us could speak, all we could do was look as we listened to the words.

_My love is yours, baby  
Oh, right from the stars  
You, you, you posses my soul now honey  
And I know, I know you own my heart  
And I wanna say  
  
Someday we'll be together  
Some sweet day we'll be together  
Yes we will, yes we will  
Someday (tell everybody) we'll be together  
Yes we will, yes we will  
  
Long time ago  
My, my sweet thing  
I made a big mistake, honey  
I said, I said goodbye  
Oh, oh baby  
Ever, ever, ever since that day  
Now, now all I wanna do is cry, cry  
  
Hey, hey, hey  
I long for you every night  
Just to kiss your sweet, sweet lips  
Hold you ever, ever so tight  
And I wanna say  
  
Someday we'll be together  
Yes we will, yes we will_


	8. Mistakes and Regrets

"Tuna or turkey?"

"Huh?"

I looked up from my desk to see my co-worker and good friend, Alice Smith, standing over me holding two sandwiches. Alice was a graphic illustrator, two years older than me with model good looks and a sarcastic personality. A lot of people didn't "get" her but I did. I loved the way she waltzed around the office either chewing on a pencil or puffing on a cigarette and always calling everyone "kid" or "kiddo" no matter their age.

It was well after 8 p.m. and I was starving.

"Turkey", I smiled. "Thanks Alice."

"No problem."

"It's late as hell. What are you still doing here?"

"I should ask you the same thing. Unfortunately all the graphic illustrations I composed for the McAllister account have been deemed no good by the boss. I have until 7 a.m. tomorrow morning to make it perfect and I am all out of ideas so I figured it's pretty much gonna be an all nighter until I can conjure up a miracle. What about you?"

"We have some executives coming in from Minneapolis for guess what, the McAllister account! Gosh this is kicking our asses! I can't wait until it's a done deal. Anyway, you know the work of a Public Relations officer is never done..."

"I hear you. At least we can stay late and be miserable together then", Alice grinned.

"Misery loves company. But what about that hot guy you're dating...Mike?"

"Matt."

"Yeah Matt. Don't you want to hurry home to him?"

"Mary-Courtney, Matt was so last week. He's very...clingy, shall I say. Anyway, I gave him his walking papers on Tuesday."

"Yikes. Sorry I brought it up."

"Please. Wait until you meet Antonio. Oh he's so hot. I met him at an art show last month. He's opening his own gallery and everything."

I laughed and had to give it to Alice. She was a resilient chick to say the least.

"Okay I'll meet Antonio but we better make it soon or next week it'll be someone else", I joked.

"You know me. I mean, I'd like to find Mr. Right but I guess I'll settle for Mr. Right Now."

"You're crazy, Alice."

"What? I'm serious. All girls aren't as lucky as you, Mary-Courtney. Charlie is like too perfect for words. He's gorgeous, he makes good money, he's fun to be around, he's smart, he's funny and he's way into you. Look at that rock on your finger for Christ's sake. The glare is starting to blind me."

"Yeah...I guess Charlie is a great guy."

"You guess?"

"I mean, I know."

"Don't sound so sure, kiddo. Come on. What's going on? Talk to me."

I looked nervously at Alice. Since I had moved to Milwaukee I had met a lot of great people and made tons of new friends. Still none were quite like the ones back in Alexandria. It wasn't like I had confidants or close girlfriend. When it came down to it, there wasn't a one person where I could just spill the beans to. I really liked Alice and we'd grown closer while working together. It was tempting to just let it all come out.

"It's a long, complicated story. I don't want to bother you with it."

"You're not bothering me, kid. If you talk about it, maybe you'll feel better. Besides, with all this crap on our desks, where are we going anytime soon?"

I nodded and slowly began the tale from the beginning. Before I knew it I was telling Alice everything about my parents, integration at T.C.Williams, Ray Budds, befriending the Titans and Ronnie Bass. Hours later by the time I was done I had explained everything that had happened since seeing Ronnie at the café and then again at the wedding just a few weeks before. 

"Wow", Alice sighed, taking it all in. "That is quite a story."

"Tell me about it."

"So what are you gonna do now?"

"What do you mean, Alice?"

"With your life. What happens now? What's the next chapter?"

"I don't know. I go on, I guess. I marry Charlie and..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down a sec. What do you mean, marry Charlie?"

"He is my fiancé."

"Yeah but I just spent the last two hours listening to you with your googly eyes go on and on about this Ronnie Bass guy."

"Oh Alice I do not have googly eyes, whatever those are."

"They're eyes with a look of absolute love and yes you do have them."

"Look Alice, Ronnie was my first love alright? And you never forget your first love. Maybe a part of me will always hold a special place in my heart for him but that relationship is over and has been for a very long time."

"Are you sure?"

"Alice..."

"Because it doesn't sound like it's over for either one of you."

"It is. He has his life in South Carolina and he has to deal with his situation with Pam and I'm here and I have Charlie and that's the way it is."

"Charlie is great and I know you love him but are you really in love with him? There's a big difference, Mary-Courtney."

"Alice, where are you going with all this?"

She took a deep breath and pulled a cigarette out of her desk. She lit it and her turquoise eyes turned an eerie navy shade as she began to speak.

"I've never told anyone this and I don't know why I'm telling you. It was a couple years back and his name was John Gibson. Six foot two, killer green eyes, long brown hair...he was a hippie and I met him while I was hitchhiking when I was 16."

"Alice you were a hippie? You ran away and hitchhiked at 16?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yep", she said in between drags. "I woke up one morning and it was like I was a different person. I saw the world in a whole new light. Before that day I didn't know that the air and the water were polluted and truth be told, I didn't give a damn. That's because I was safe in middle town America with my semi wealthy parents and my nice private school. I was a clone living in a bubble and one day I just woke up and left. I started hitching and like the fifth guy picked me up in one of those Beetle vans, remember those? Oh he was so cute and nice and...man, we just clicked on every level. I fell in love with him like the first five minutes. Anyway for a year we traveled the country and smoked a lot of dope and made a lot of love and hell we even partied at Woodstock. It was a weird time but it was the best. There wasn't a lot of work for traveling hippies and the van kept breaking down. Often times there was no food because we didn't have a lot of money. We'd get work here and there, mostly labor from nice farmers who felt sorry for us. Anyway, times got hard, you know? I wasn't strong enough to handle it so one day I just left. Called my parents and begged for money and for forgiveness. Went crawling back like a rat. Anyway. Fast forward two years after that. I'm at college and back to my perfect existence dating some rich prick from my dad's country club and what do you know? John shows up at my door."

"He did? What happened? What did you do?"

"It surprised the hell out of me. I didn't know what to do. Just seeing him again made all the old feelings resurface. It's like nothing had changed. I still loved him more than anything. I wanted to run to him and have him hold me and rescue me from life. You know what I did though?"

"What?"

"We talked, spent some time together and stuff and I walked away. Ended up doing what everyone else wanted and what I thought was the right thing and went back to the rich country club prick. I broke John's heart. I was lucky enough to find something real and beautiful and then I was foolish to let it go. Life gave me a second chance and life doesn't do that for anybody too often. Anyway, I was a fool and I let him go again."

"What happened?"

"We lost touch and I never saw him again. To this day I can't find him. I heard stories about him burning his draft card and fleeing to Canada but I don't know. I just know he's not with me. And I hung around and tried to keep up the façade with my Richie Rich for as long as possible but...it didn't work out. I wasn't happy."

"Oh my God."

"I've never told anyone that story in my entire life kid but I just told you for a reason. I'm not trying to tell you how to run your life but I just want you to know the power of a second chance. You and Ronnie have that now and I don't want either of you to walk away and regret it later like I regret my mistakes now. To this day it still hurts like a bitch and I don't want you to go through it."

"I do love Charlie, Alice and I can't just leave him. I don't even know if I want to. I don't know what to do."

"You've got to do what's best for you, Mary-Courtney. It's okay to be a little selfish sometimes. This is your life...your whole future we're talking here. Whatever makes you happy, whoever makes you whole, the man you want and see the rest of your life with, well eventually that's who you're gonna have to choose."

"I know what I want to do...I'm just not sure what I'm gonna do."

Alice put a sympathetic hand on my shoulder.

"You're a good kid, Mary-Courtney. You'll be okay. You know in your heart what you have to do and that choice is yours and yours alone."

I nodded and tried to blink back tears.

"Thanks Alice...for listening and for sharing."

She smiled as she wiped a tear of her own and returned back to the work on her desk.

"That's what friends are for, kiddo."


	9. Holiday Surprises

"Merry Christmas."

My eyes fluttered open and I smiled as Charlie was laying over me with a small but beautifully wrapped gift box.

"Don't you mean Happy Hanukkah?" I laughed.

"You're just trying to get more presents out of me", he grinned.

I took the box and opened it seeing for the first time a pretty gold wrap bracelet.

"Oh Charlie it's beautiful", I gasped.

"You like it?"

"I love it. Thank you, sweetie", I said as he helped me put it on.

"Look on the side. I had it engraved."

Sure enough there were our initials.

"That's so nice honey. Now I have to give you my present.

"What did you get me, a brand new Mercedes?" he joked.

"Yeah it's parked out in our imaginary garage. How did you guess?"

I reached under the bed and pulled out a large box. Charlie was just like a little kid as he ripped open the paper. A huge smile spread across his face as soon as peered into the package. 

"It ain't a Mercedes but I was close, huh?"

"Even better."

Charlie was a car fanatic and an avid collector of toy and model sets. I had bought him a rare Matchbox set only available in Europe.

"Well I'm glad you like them."

"This is awesome, baby, I mean it. Thank you."

He kissed me and we fell lazily back into bed nestled in each other's arms.

"This is so nice Charlie, being here...just you and me. I am so glad we decided to celebrate the holidays alone and together."

"Yeah. We need this time together. We've both been so busy lately. Actually...Mary-Courtney, I've been wanting to talk to you about that."

"About what?"

"About us. I know we've both been slammed at work like crazy. We hardly get to see each other anymore. When we do we're tired or cranky or both and I just feel like..."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Like I'm losing you."

His statement made me laugh out loud.

"Losing me? Charlie Foreman, what are you talking about?"

"Things have been...different between us lately. Not necessarily bad or good but just different. It kind of bothered me, you know? Ever since that visit to your parent's house..."

"One thing has nothing to do with the other. You're right when you say that we've been busy at work but that's expected. We're both young and trying to move up and we have demanding careers. And yeah maybe we have been a little snap towards each other lately but that's a relationship. Things can't always be perfect all the time. That doesn't mean I love you any less because I don't."

"Well that's good to know because I fall in love with you more and more every day."

I stroked the side of his face lovingly.

"Lucky me."

"No...lucky me. I mean it, babe. I love you so much. Now I know we didn't want to rush things but I can't wait any longer. I want to marry you. Let's make plans."

"Now?"

"Right now? Why wait?"

"I want to marry you too but there is a lot to discuss. We need to choose a location yet we haven't even settled on what state we want to do it in. And even if you don't go to Synagogue anymore, you're still of Jewish faith and I'm Southern Baptist. Charlie, it's so much to decide. I mean, the end result will be great...you and I get to be married but all the hoopla in the middle is nothing but one huge headache!"

"Well what if we skipped all that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Skip the headache. Quit worrying about getting married in Virginia and hurting my family's feelings. Quit worrying about getting married in Chicago and having your folks' upset. Let's not think about religion or flowers or menus or guests or any of that. Let's just hop on a plane to Vegas and do it."

"You mean elope?"

"Yes."

"Oh my God! Charlie...when?"

"Right now if you want to. Whenever baby. I just want to be married."

He had obviously given it a lot of thought and it did seem easier.

"I don't know..."

"If you love me and you want to be my wife and you're sure about us and our future together...hell Mary-Courtney, that's all you need to know."

Charlie was right. Procrastinating wasn't making it any easier. If we were going to get hitched, we may as well have gone and gotten it over with. It was time for me to man up. I had made a promise and given Charlie my word. It was time to put our plan for the future into action.

"Alright", I said. "Let's do it."

"Let's get married?"

"Let's get married!"

He shouted for joy and gave me a big kiss. It was the most impulsive thing I'd ever done but we were throwing caution to the wind and booking the next flight for Las Vegas. My heart thumped wildly as I packed a bag. I couldn't believe we were going through with it.

"Sin city here we come!" Charlie shouted with glee as he opened our door.

I was right behind him and I didn't see who was on the other side of that door.

"Charlie, did you..."

I stopped cold in my tracks as there in front of me were Charlie's parents, older sister and younger brother. We just stood there for a few seconds absolutely dumbfounded just staring at each other.

"Surprise!" Mrs. Foreman finally yelled. "Did we catch you kids at a bad time?"

"Uh...no", Charlie lied. "Um, come on in."

Within seconds the family was in our living room as Charlie and I went to the back to put our things away.

"What now?" I whispered.

"I don't know. This is a hell of a surprise. I mean, what were they thinking without calling?"

"Well they're here now."

"I know. Look, it won't be for more than a few days. Let's just get through this, make the best of it and we'll be in Vegas by New Year's, okay?"

I simply nodded. What else could we do?

The Foremans stayed on through December 31st. They were scheduled to fly out at four that afternoon and Charlie and I had rebooked our Nevada flight at seven that evening. It would be close but the new plan was to be in Vegas and be married before 1979. Of course their unexpected stay wasn't all bad. They were nice people and I actually enjoyed being around them. We only wanted them to leave so we could hurry up and elope. We had decided it best that we tell both families after the fact.

"So how do you lovebirds plan on ringing in the New Year?" Mr. Foreman asked?

"We hadn't really thought about it", Charlie lied. "Who knows?"

"Well we hope this New Year brings a wedding for you two", Mrs. Foreman added. "I am just thrilled with this engagement. You're a lovely girl Mary-Courtney and we're very excited about you joining the family."

"Thank you, Mrs. Foreman. I'm excited too. Charlie is a wonderful man. I know we'll be very happy together."

Charlie squeezed my hand as we looked in each other's eyes. Just a few more hours to go.

"Is that the telephone, I hear?" Mr. Foreman asked.

"Let me get it", I offered.

It was probably my mother anyway.

"Hello?"

"Mary-Courtney?"

"Yes. Who is this?"

"It's Ronnie. Ronnie Bass."

"Ronnie? Oh my God. What are you...I mean hi. This is a surprise. Um, how are you?"

"Okay. I'm in Milwaukee actually."

"Milwaukee?"

"Yeah. It was a last minute business trip. I'm only in town for tonight. Anyway, I know it's short notice but if you don't have plans, I'd love to have dinner tonight."

"Dinner?"

"Yeah...if you're not busy."

Yes Ronnie I am very busy tonight, I thought. I am running off to marry my fiancé.

"Uh Ronnie..."

"If you can't, then I understand. I...I just really needed to see you."

There was something about the catch in his voice when we said. All of a sudden, I lost control of all rational functions. All of a sudden nothing mattered to me more than seeing Ronnie Bass.

"Okay...where are you?"

I jotted down his info and promised to meet him within the hour.

"Who was on the phone babe?" Charlie asked.

"Huh? Oh, um, nobody...listen baby I need to run out for a minute."

"Run out? Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine but I really have to go. Something kind of important came up and I'll explain it later but I really need to go take care of it. I'll be back soon."

With that, I grabbed my purse and coat, kissed my puzzled fiancé, wished his equally bewildered family a safe trip back to Chicago and I was out the door. Just like that. It was crazy but I didn't care. All I know is that Ronnie needed me. He needed to see me and I needed to see him too...more than I needed to breathe.


	10. One Last Night?

Sitting through dinner with Ronnie had to have been one of the most uncomfortable and awkward moments of my life. It felt...weird. Sure he was the same great guy he'd always been but I did have a great guy at home waiting for me, waiting to get on a plane with me and fly off to Vegas to elope.

"Mary-Courtney, is everything cool?"

"Huh?" I asked.

"I was asking if you were okay. You've been pretty quiet all night and you barely touched your food."

"I'm fine. I guess I'm just not very hungry. Sorry if I've been lousy company."

"No it's not that. You're always great company", he smiled.

"Thanks."

"This is funny, us sitting here on New Year's Eve. Brings back a lot of memories."

"Yeah..."

"Do you remember the first one we ever spent together?"

How could I forget?"

"Yeah", I smiled fondly. "Your parents let you have that party that I had to sneak out to because Mama and Daddy absolutely forbade me to go."

"Yeah and you went anyway like usual", Ronnie laughed. "You were such a little rebel. Weren't you like grounded the whole year of 1973?"

"Something like that", I grinned. "But throw me a bone. I had to. Look at my parents. They are so old fashioned and crazy and set in their stupid ways. They weren't as cool as Laureen and the Colonel."

"I just remember how much fun we had that night. The whole team was there and it was just a real good time. Then my parents came down like the minute before midnight and we did the countdown. And I, uh...you and me..."

"We kissed the whole time", I remembered out loud.

"Yeah it was nice. It was pretty cool."

"It was."

"Thanks for hanging out with me tonight, Mary-Courtney. I can't believe you and Charlie didn't have plans and stuff."

"It's okay", I shrugged.

"He's at home?"

"Yeah."

"So I guess it's no point in asking if you want to hang out until midnight."

"Charlie would kill me", I said forcing a smile.

I glanced at my watch, which read ten after seven. Our flight to Las Vegas had already taken off. I was already a dead woman although I knew Charlie was probably more worried than angry.

"That's cool. I understand."

"Yeah actually...I kind of have to get going. I hate to be rude and cut this short..."

"No, no don't apologize. It's totally cool. I'm just glad you got to hang out as long as you did."

"Thanks Ronnie. It was nice seeing you again. Um, I'll walk you to your room?"

Where did that come from? Honestly my words sometimes flowed before my brain even knew what was going on. 

"Sure. I'm on the sixth floor."

He paid the bill and we made small talk as we walked and rode the elevator. A few minutes later we were standing in front of room 614.

"Well this is me", Ronnie said as he unlocked and opened the door. "I guess this is good night."

He gave me a hug and a goofy grin spread across my face as I looked over at the mini bar by the window.

"Oh my God! Ronnie look! Seagram's Gin."

He followed my gaze and we both burst out laughing. That bottle brought back floods of memories.

"I hadn't even noticed", he said.

"Well how could I not? I'll never forget that night and neither will Petey. Remember the look on his face when I threw up all over his shoes? Gosh, keep that stuff far, far away from me."

"You can't handle the Gin but how about one glass of wine before you go?"

I should have said no. I should have told Ronnie that I had to leave and that Charlie was at home waiting for me, probably going out of his mind with concern.

"Just one glass", I found myself saying.

One innocent glass. One glass turned into two and before I knew it we were giggling and reminiscing about old times again. When I looked at my watch it was ten p.m.

"That's what I miss most", Ronnie sighed as he loosened his tie. "We had the craziest times. I mean, I have good friends now in South Carolina but none like the ones in Alexandria."

"I know", I sighed.

"Man, is it ten already? Where did the time go? Mary-Courtney, I'm having a great time but if there is somewhere you have to be..."

"I was supposed to get married tonight", I blurted out.

Ronnie's smile quickly faded.

"Come again. You're joking, right?"

"No. Charlie and I had tickets to fly to Vegas three hours ago. We were going to elope."

"Wow...why, I mean, you should have told me. I don't know what to say. Why didn't you go, Mary-Courtney?"

"I wish I could answer that Ronnie, more for myself than for you but I don't have an answer. You called and...I don't know. I just wanted to see you."

"He's probably worried."

"I'm sure he is. Charlie is a good man Ronnie and I love him very much but..."

"But what?"

"I don't know. I've never said this to anyone, not even myself but I have doubts, serious doubts about marrying him."

"Why?"

"Because I can't picture myself happy with him twenty years from now. Because as great as he is and as much as I do love him, I don't know if he is the one. Because...because, he's not you."

I didn't know if it was actually me or the wine talking but whatever the case, the cold hard truth was now in the open.

"Mary-Courtney..."

"I know what we had was a long time ago and we were just kids but it's real to me. And there was no way I could commit to Charlie without telling you that."

Ronnie looked away and was silent for a while. I feared I had said too much of the wrong thing.

"It's real to me too", he finally said in a voice barely above a whisper. "I never stopped being in love with you, Mary-Courtney. All those memories we have, everything we've ever said to each other...it's all real. And part of me regrets breaking up. I wish we could have made it through college. Part of me wishes that I had just transferred to a school up north if that's what it would have taken for us to keep it together. I mean, my life didn't turn out bad but I spend a lot of time thinking how it would be if you and I were still together."

"God, Ronnie what the hell are we doing?"

"I don't know", he shrugged. "Maybe I was wrong to see you tonight but I couldn't help it. I had to."

"So what does this mean for us now?" I asked. "All these feelings are out in the open but it doesn't change our lives. What about Charlie? What about Pam?"

"I love her", he said truthfully. "I really do. And it was surprising that I could love someone so much after you. But I do. And she's a beautiful, wonderful girl and every day it kills me to see what she's going through. Mary-Courtney, have you ever watched someone die?"

"No", I shook my head.

"I can't explain it. The doctors say they can't do anything else for her. They say she is going to die. I don't want her to die, I'd do anything to save her life but after watching her struggle and suffer...sometimes, sometimes I find myself praying for God to just take her. That must make me a pretty horrible guy."

"No...no it doesn't. It's just because you don't want her to hurt anymore."

"It kills me that I can't help her or protect her. And it's so unfair. But through it all...she's just so brave. I can't even explain it. I am so blessed that she has been apart of my life. And I can't leave her...I won't. I will be there for her until the end but I still love you, Mary-Courtney. I always have, always will. You're the love of my life. And I don't know what to do about that. Charlie is an awesome guy and I really like him and I know he loves you but every time I see you two together or think about you together or see that ring on your finger, it makes me want to throw up. Then I feel like a real selfish asshole. I'm the one that broke things off with you, I'm the one who can't leave Pam but yet I don't want you to marry Charlie. That's not right. It's not fair."

"Ronnie, I don't know what to do...or say or feel. I mean, your thing with Pam...I understand it and I respect you so much for it. As for Charlie...I don't even know. I know I'm not being fair to him and that's not right. He deserves so much better than that. The one thing I do know is the level or love and comfort and familiarity and happiness I feel with him doesn't compare to what I feel for you. And I hate that because you're right, it isn't fair. I feel like I should walk away from you and erase our past completely but I can't...no matter how hard I try. It's so scary that I still love and want and need you so much."

"I know I should tell you to walk right out that door and go be with him but I can't. I need you here with me even if it just for one night."

"I know my word probably doesn't count for much now but I did make a promise to Charlie and I have to honor that. Ronnie, I can't compromise that promise to him."

"I'm not asking you to."

"What are you asking?"

"I just want to hold you."

I closed my eyes and allowed his body to envelope mine. So many times I had been in those arms and they felt like home. He held me and it was enough to make me cry. I knew I'd never find that special feeling with Charlie or anyone else


	11. Facing The Music

**_Author's Note: If you can see this then I assume you are reading the chapters. I appreciate everyone's interest. Feel free to review with criticisms, opinions, and random thoughts about this story. I enjoy hearing what other people think. Sundiata-Where are you, girl?? I miss your faithful reviews. Write soon and let me know what you think I am doing right or wrong. Spunky-hyper-girl- Thanks for the review. I am glad you enjoy this story and the others. Don't kill me for this chapter, lol. Charlie will be okay. : ) But let me know what you think and keep reading!!_**

My head pounded, my heart thumped, my stomach flopped and my knees buckled as I slowly climbed the stairs to the apartment. I had never been so frightened in my life. It was five in the morning, January 1, 1979.

I turned my key in the lock and reluctantly walked inside. The shades were drawn and it was dark inside. I headed towards the bathroom as the living light suddenly flickered on and scared the hell out of me. I jumped and there was Charlie sitting on the couch.

"Hey", was all I could think to say.

"Where were you?" he asked in a surprisingly calm voice.

"Out...um, I had stuff I needed to do. Charlie, I..."

"I wondered what was up after that mysterious phone call yesterday. You said it was no one, then you took off like a bat out of hell."

"Charlie, I can explain..."

"I waited for you. I waited for you to come back so we could make our flight. You do remember we had a plane to catch, Mary-Courtney? Yeah the plane that was taking us to Vegas to get married. The plane and the elopement you were oh so excited about say two hours before you disappeared."

"Charlie..."

"So when you didn't show up, I figured what I thought was the worst. Car accident...you got mugged...someone kidnapped you...you were laying in a ditch somewhere hurt needing someone to help you maybe. So I was worried sick. I figured whatever it was that made you bail on our elopement was pretty serious. I went out looking for you. I called the police...all the hospitals."

"Charlie, I wasn't in an accident and I wasn't kidnapped or mugged", I said in a low, shaky voice.

"You weren't? Because as bad as it sounds, I was hoping you would say you were. Because at least that is a valid excuse. I want you to look me in the eye and tell me something, that you were abducted by aliens...something."

His voice was beginning to rise, alternating between an emotion filled shriek and a low, growling anger.

"Charlie...Charlie, I'm sorry", I began to sob.

"Where were you, Mary-Courtney? That's all I want to know. Where did you go? Huh? Where the fuck has my fiancée been for the last fifteen or so hours?"

Tears streamed down my face and I could barely get the words out.

"I...I was with Ronnie", I squeaked.

Charlie stood up and damn near put his fist through the wall. I had never seen him so angry.

"Dammitt, Mary-Courtney, what is going on? You've got to tell me something and it better be the truth. What the hell is going on with this you and this guy?"

"I don't know", I cried.

"Don't know? You don't know? Don't give me that bullshit! You owe me the truth!"

"He called on the phone yesterday. He was in town for one night on business and he asked me to meet him. It sounded like it was important..."

"And marrying me wasn't?"

"Of course it was. It is Charlie. But you don't understand the bond I have with Ronnie and Rev and Gerry and all those guys. He needed me and I had to be there. I just wanted to see him for a little while, make sure he was okay. I swear I didn't mean to stay that long." 

"Well what did he want? What was so goddamn important that it made you ditch me on our wedding day?"

"He just wanted to see me. He wanted to talk. He's been going through a rough time lately...his girlfriend is dying of leukemia and he's been taking care of her. It's hard on him. I know you don't understand but I had to be there for him."

"Damn right I don't understand. See Mary-Courtney, they have this new little invention out called the telephone. Don't know if you've heard about it."

"Charlie, please. Calm down. Please stop yelling at me. You're scaring me."

"Now I can't yell? You think I don't have a right to be upset?"

"Yes but..."

"But what? I love you, I give you everything, I take care of you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you and here I am thinking you're happy and that you feel the same way and that everything is fine. Then on the very day we plan to elope, you run out on me to be with your ex-boyfriend all night without so much as a word or phone call! I'm worried sick thinking your ass might be wrapped around a tree somewhere! I guess it was worse than that. Instead you were in some hotel fucking Ronnie Bass! Okay, I don't have the right to be pissed off. I guess I'm the asshole!"

"It's not like that, Charlie", I sniffled. "Baby, I know you're mad and you should be. Okay? I was wrong and I'm sorry but I swear to you, I swear to God, nothing happened. I did not cheat on you. I didn't sleep with Ronnie."

"What the hell were you guys doing all night? Playing Canasta? Eating pancakes? What? Oh let me guess, you were just talking, right?"

"Yes."

"Whatever! How could you do this to me? I do everything for you and you repay me by treating me like a fool."

"I'm sorry", I whispered as I reached out to him.

He recoiled in disgust at my very touch.

"Do not touch me, Mary-Courtney! I don't even want to look at you right now, much less have you touch me."

"Charlie, I'm sorry."

"Are you in love with him?"

"Charlie, I..."

"No! I don't want to hear your crying and your lying and your pathetic excuses. All I want to hear is an answer to my question. Are you in love with Ronnie Bass?"

"I don't know", I finally screamed.

"I can't do this with you anymore, Mary-Courtney. Right now I hate you. You disgust me. I don't trust you. I am literally mad enough to kill someone right now. But even after all that, after all the shit you put me through, I still love you. Now I need to know where your head and where your heart are."

"I don't know what to say, Charlie. I am so ashamed. I am so sorry that I hurt you. I don't want you to hate me but you have every right to. I know you have questions and you want answers and you deserve answers but I can't give them to you right now because I don't know what's going on. I don't know why I went to Ronnie tonight. I don't know why I stayed on all night. I guess I never got over our relationship. I thought I had but I guess I didn't. When I'm with you Charlie I am happy and our life together is great and I want to be with you. You may not believe it but I really do love you. I do. And I don't want you to get hurt in all this and I don't want to make a fool out of you but...I can't explain things with Ronnie."

"Mary-Courtney, you know, I really don't get you sometimes. I really don't. I don't want to hear how hard this is for you because trust me, it's a thousand times worse for me. Believe that. I just need to know where you stand. It's time to make a choice. I can't keep doing this with you. Either you love me or you love him. Either it's going to be me or Ronnie Bass. You can't have both, Mary-Courtney."

"I know."

"So what's it gonna be? Right here, right now...choose."

"Charlie, I do love you. You're such a good man and I do want to be with you but...but yes, a part of me still has strong feelings for Ronnie. I guess I can't deny that any longer. And I don't know what to do. It's confusing and it's hard on everybody involved. So many people are getting hurt and that's the last thing I ever wanted. I wish I could tell you something else, I wish I could tell you what you want to hear but all I can do is give you the truth. Maybe I haven't handled this the best way and if you want to leave then who could blame you but..."

"But what? Am I supposed to wait around until you decide? Am I supposed to convince you why you should be with me instead of him?"

"No..."

"Because I love you and I want to be with you...even after all this shit you're putting me through, I can still say that with zero doubts. Can you?"

"No", I muttered to him the truth for the first time.

He nodded his head and stood.

"I need to get out of here for a while."

"Charlie, wait. No. Please don't leave like this. Let's talk."

"About what? I think you said all you needed to say."

"Where will you go?"

My question made him laugh out loud. It was a sinister, haughty laugh.

"How dare you ask me that? You have some nerve. Where I go is no longer any of your concern."

"Charlie, please..."

"Now it's your turn, Mary-Courtney. You get to wait and wonder and worry and cry. You get to guess whether or not I'm coming back."

"Charlie, please. We can't just leave things like this. We need to talk...work this out somehow. Please. Just don't...don't walk away. Don't do this to me."

"You did this to yourself" he sneered as the door closed behind him.

And with that he was gone, leaving me a sobbing wreck on the floor. I was alone with my thoughts and the feelings of being utterly torn...the feeling of being in love with two men. My life was in shambles. The more I tried to fix it, the worse it became, the more mistakes I made, the more the decisions became harder and the more people got hard. Everything was screwed up and Charlie had one aspect right...it was all my fault!


	12. A Future In The Past

The telephone rang, jarring me awake and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Charlie?" I answered frantically.

"Sorry kiddo. It's me, Alice."

"Oh", I said, trying not to sound terribly disappointed.

"So I take it you still haven't heard from him, huh?"

It had been two days and Charlie hadn't come back home or bothered to call. I was going out of my mind.

"No...not yet."

"You okay?"

"No", I mumbled truthfully. "I hate this, Alice. Gosh, you should have seen him. He was so mad when he left. I don't think he's ever coming back."

"He will...eventually. Right now he's just angry and hurt. He needs time to cool off and think. When he's ready he'll come back."

"I hope so", I whispered.

"You gonna be okay until then? Want some company?"

"No. I appreciate it but I'd rather be alone now or at least until Charlie comes home...if he comes home."

"It will be alright, kid."

"I don't know, Alice. I screwed things up pretty bad this time. Charlie doesn't know how to deal with it. Hell, I don't know how to deal with it."

"No one does, Mary-Courtney. There is no manual for 'how to deal with loving my ex boyfriend while still loving my new fiancé even though I have no idea why I ditched my fiancé for my ex on my wedding day'."

Only Alice could make me laugh at a time like this.

"Gee thanks", I smiled.

"Oh shut up. At least I got a half smile out of you. You're gonna be fine, kiddo but you need to take care of yourself. Figure out what it is that you want and what it's gonna take to get you through this."

"I don't even know anymore", I sighed. "I want to fix it but I don't know how. I just know I can't keep going on like this. I wish I could go home. I wish I could just go back to Alexandria and be a kid again and not have to worry about all this drama."

"Go home then. Take a few days off and relax in Virginia."

"Alice, I can't."

"Why not? You need to be alone and clear your head."

"That's true but I don't know if Virginia is the right place. I mean, my parents...hell, I told you about them. I don't think I'd spend half as much time relaxing as I would arguing with them."

"Forget your parents. This is about you, Mary-Courtney. You need to figure out what you're gonna do with yourself and your life. Maybe home is just what you need."

I couldn't help but to think that somehow Alice was right. A couple of days away couldn't hurt. As much as I did want to see Charlie I still wasn't quite ready to face him just yet. Before I knew it, I was on the phone with the airline making a reservation. It was funny how I was going back to the past in order to figure out my future.

I had left a note in the apartment for Charlie and booked the first flight to Virginia. My parents, though extremely curious as to what was going on, actually stayed off my back for once. I was home and it was nice. I got to sleep in my whole room and do all the things I had done as a young girl. It was refreshing and a nice way to take my mind off my problems but I knew eventually I'd have to focus. I had a lot of thinking to do and lots of decisions to make. People were getting hurt left and right and it was all my fault. Something had to give sooner or later.

As I wondered around town aimlessly my last night, I saw that there was a home basketball game going on in the gym of T.C. Williams. Like a moth to a flame, I was drawn inside. I could almost see the pep rallies we'd had in '71 and '72 inside that very gymnasium. For a few hours I could be a kid again, the happy and popular head cheerleader. For a short while life could be simple once more.

"Mary-Courtney? Is that you? What are you doing here?"

After the game ended and our team won, I ran into a familiar face in the school parking lot.

"Rev!" I squealed giving an old friend a hug.

"It's good to see you, girl. You look great! I'm just surprised. You should have given me a call. What brings you by?"

"Got a few hours?" I asked, half jokingly.

Rev was the one person besides Ronnie who had been closest to me. Sure I loved Petey, Gerry, Alan, Louie, Emma, Blue and the guys but Rev was different. We had always shared a special connection and I knew I could trust him with anything.

He linked his arm with mine and we began walking down the cold streets of our town. I told him everything from the night of running into Ronnie at the café, to Gerry and Emma's wedding, to me spending the night with him when I was supposed to be marrying Charlie.

"So I guess you think I'm a pretty horrible person, huh?"

"No I don't Mary-Courtney. I still think the world of you. You're still that same sweet, sensitive caring person I've always known. It just seems you got yourself into a bit of a predicament. Now you've got some tough choices to make."

"What do I do, Rev? Do I forget about my feelings for Ronnie? Do I try to erase our past, what we had, what we still have? Do I go forward even with doubts and marry Charlie even though that may mean spending the rest of my life wondering if I chose the right man? Or do I leave Charlie, wait for Pam to die so I can try to rekindle some storybook romance with Ronnie that didn't work five years ago?"

"I can't tell you what to do on that. Those are your decisions, Mary-Courtney."

"I know. But it's hard and it hurts and I don't know what to do. I'm scared. I'm scared of making the wrong choice. I'm scared of hurting Ronnie. I'm scared of hurting Charlie more than I already have. Gosh it would be so much easier if one of them were just this mean, evil, horrible asshole. But they're not. They are two of the kindest, most considerate, loving, wonderful people on the planet. I am in love with two great men."

"Ronnie has been one of my best friends for years and Charlie seems like a pretty terrific guy. It won't be easy but you need some sort of resolution. Whatever it is, I know you'll make the right decision because the choice will come from your heart. You have a beautiful heart, Mary-Courtney. You just have to listen to it. Sometimes you can't think or analyze...you just have to go with what you feel in your gut. This all comes down to what you want and what's gonna make you happy. Do this for you and everything else will fall into place. Sure making a choice will end up with one of the guys being hurt. But it'll hurt a million times worse if you just continue to go on and string them along and not make a choice."

Rev was right...like always. I hugged him harder than I ever had anyone in my life. He was truly the greatest. A loyal, kind and wonderful friend who always knew exactly what to say at exactly the right time without placing judgment or blame. I knew there was something I'd had to come home for and Rev's words were it.

"I love you, Rev."

"I love you too, Mary-Courtney."

I went back over to my folks' to pack for my trip the next day back to Milwaukee. Finally I was ready to face everything...my past, present and my future. Still there was one more thing to do before I left.

I had the taxi drop me and my suitcase off at the front door. I knocked twice but no one answered so I figured I had missed them...

"Mary-Courtney? Oh my goodness. Mary-Courtney Davis, is that you?"

"Laureen!" I smiled as she hugged me.

"You look fabulous! Oh it is so good to see you, honey! I was just outside bringing in some firewood. The Colonel won't be back until later and I wanted to get the fireplace warmed up. Come in. Have a cup of hot tea with me. We've got so much to catch up on."

"Thanks", I said, gathering my bag. "I can't stay on long. I have a plane to catch in a few hours. I just felt like seeing you and Col. Bass so I decided to drop by."

"Well I'm glad you did and Bill will be so disappointed that he missed your visit", Laureen said as she brought out two mugs of tea. "Now let's have some girl talk. How have you been? How are things?"

"Things...are fine", I shrugged.

"Oh? Judging by the size of that rock on your hand, things are more than fine. Who is the fellow?"

"His name is Charles Foreman. He's originally from Chicago but I met him at work in Milwaukee."

"Is he cute?"

"Very handsome?"

"Tall?"

"Over six feet."

"Successful?"

"Very."

"He loves you?"

"With all his heart?"

"Is he a good man?"

"The best."

"Then why do you look so unhappy, dear?"

Tears threatened to stream down my cheeks.

"Because I have a wonderful life with a with a wonderful man who I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Then I run into your son again and all these weird feelings start resurfacing. Feelings that I thought were long dead and buried. But they're not."

"I see. Have you told Ron any of this?"

"Yeah. We talked. He um, actually he was out in Wisconsin for business on New Year's Eve. We had dinner. We talked. We both put a lot of cards on the table."

"And..."

"And that just so happened to be the night Charlie and I were flying out to Vegas to get married. I totally blew off my wedding and stayed with Ronnie. I mean, nothing happened physically but we talked and cried and held each other...it was beautiful. It was perfect. It was just like it was when we were kids. The love is still there."

"So what now?"

"I don't know. I'm confused. Charlie is royally pissed at me. Ronnie is in South Carolina taking care of Pam. It's just so much, you know? So many people could get hurt in all this."

"What do you want?"

"I don't know. When I'm with Charlie, I want Charlie. We're happy and it's great and I love him. But when I'm with Ronnie...it's like a whole other world. It's bliss and synchrony and perfection."

"Ron called home the other night and we talked. He...he told me everything."

"How is he?"

"He's holding up. Ron's a tough kid. He feels bad because he feels like he may have ruined your life and especially things with your fiancé. He's also going through a really bad time with Pam."

"I know."

"Look, I know this situation is none of my business and if Bill were here he would say, 'Laureen, butt out and let those kids work out their own problems' but I have to say this, Mary-Courtney. You are an awesome girl. I'll never forget, after the first day of T.C. Williams, Ron came home and I asked him how his day went. He said, 'Mom, the morning was crazy because of all these ignorant and prejudiced rednecks were out there protesting integration. The classes were okay but the teachers are kind of strange. Everybody thinks I'm a weirdo and they call me hippie boy. And Coach Boone is working us to the grind out there on that field.' So I look at my son and ask him after all that, was there anything nice about his new school. Do you know what he said? He said, 'Yeah Mom. Today I saw the prettiest girl I've ever seen and she's in three of my classes. I didn't get a chance to talk to her and she's dating one of the jerks on the team but she seems really nice. There's something very special about her. I just sort of feel this cool vibe when she's around and I know she is someone who is going to have a very important role in my life'".

"Ronnie said that?" I asked quietly.

"Sure did. And when you guys went off to college and the first night he called home I asked him how things were going and if he's spoken to you yet. He told me that he had and that you were fine and you guys were happy. He told me he wasn't worried about the distance because it was only fours years and he knew you two were going to spend the rest of your lives together."

"Oh my God", I whispered.

"He really loves you. It broke his heart when you guys split up. Even though he initiated it and you both moved on and he dated other girls and eventually Pam, Ron never got over you. He never stopped being in love with you, Mary-Courtney. He just thought he was doing the right thing at that time and allowing you both to have the space you needed. He does love Pam and she's a lovely girl. It's a shame what the illness is doing to her. It isn't fair...to either one of them. And you know Ron. He will be there by her side, loyal and giving until the very end. That's just the kind of young man he is. But he's in love with you. Ron is in love with you even though Pam is so sick and he'd still be in love with you if she were well. Now I'm not trying to tell you what to do. This Charlie guy seems like a real winner. Of course I'm biased and I already love you like a daughter so naturally Bill and I want you and Ron to end up together but you have to make the decision that will make you happy. Do what's right for you."

"Everybody keeps saying that."

"It's true. Charlie might be a catch but if things were really so perfect with him, then you wouldn't have been with Ron again. Something must be missing there. And if you do end up with Ron, you two are gonna have to grow up and decide if each other is what you really want. You have to stop with the drama and the cat and mouse games. It's a hard decision but it's yours, Mary-Courtney."

Laureen was so right. My head spun with a billion thoughts the whole plane ride back to Milwaukee. I just wanted the confusion to be over and I knew that would have to start with me facing the music. I climbed the stairs to the apartment and turned my key on the lock. Soft music played in the background. How ironic it was the song "Where Is The Love?" My heart pounded as I saw Charlie's form appear from the bedroom. It had been less than a week but it felt like I hadn't seen him in ages. I couldn't help but to run over and throw my arms around him. His body stiffened at my touch but finally he relaxed and held me back. It wasn't the same love and affection but it was a start.

"I'm sorry. Oh Charlie I am so very sorry", I sobbed in his arms.

He was quiet at first and then I felt his body begin to jerk and twitch under mine. Then I heard his cries, low and muffled at first then wrenching sobs. We just stood there doing the only thing we could do. We held onto each other as our hearts bravely squeezed out all the pain.


	13. Too Much To Take

It had been awkward around our place to say the least. Charlie and I really hadn't discussed our situation since I had returned from Virginia. There was so much to say but at the same time there was nothing to say. It felt like everything had already been said, at least for the time being. Still we walked on eggshells around one another being painfully polite, treating each other as if we were strangers. Sometimes that's exactly what it felt like, I thought as I crawled into bed beside him. I missed Charlie, the real Charlie, the old Charlie. I wanted to laugh again at the silly things. I wanted to enjoy the comfortable silence of being in his company. I wanted him to talk to me, tickle me, hug me...make love to me. At the same time, nothing had changed with Ronnie. I knew I was being unfair and selfish but I couldn't help myself. I knew I had to right the wrongs and make a choice but it was too hard. Just for one night I didn't want to "think" anymore. I only wanted to feel.

"Charlie", I murmured as my hands explored his body.

He was tense, naturally at first but almost involuntarily his body began to loosen up. I kissed his lips then his neck, silently willing for him to respond. Then it happened. With a low growl he kissed me passionately and pulled me close in his arms. It felt so good...it had been so long.

"I've missed you...so much", he whispered.

"I missed you, too", I answered between kisses.

I was lost in another world controlled by passion and pure emotion. Until I could make a clear decision and stop making the people I cared about miserable, I knew I should have told Charlie no. My head was screaming that but my heart and body desperately cried out yes.

"Mary-Courtney, are...are you sure you want to?" Charlie asked as his lips continued to kiss me all over.

"Charlie", I gasped. "Make love to me...please."

He nodded, giving me a sweet smile as he gently brushed a strand of hair away from my face. After all I had done, after all the hurt and humiliation my indecisiveness had caused him, he could still look at me with pure want and love in his eyes.

We kissed and slid beneath the covers, our hands and mouths frantically exploring one another. It just felt so nice to be touched again, to be wanted, to be loved...

"Oh", I cried out. "Oh! Oh Ronnie!"

And just like that, just like someone pressing the pause button, it stopped. No sooner than the name had slipped from my lips, I realized my mistake. But it was too late. All I could do was hope. Hope and pray that Charlie hadn't noticed. That he hadn't noticed me calling out another man's name in the depths of our passion.

Slowly, deliberately Charlie backed away from me. His eyes were wide with shock and a hurt I had never seen before.

"Charlie, I..."

He put his hands to his lips.

"Don't", he said. "Don't say a word."

"Charlie..."

He literally collapsed at the foot of our bed still in a state of disbelief. I didn't know if he was going to burst into tears, start yelling or slap me, three things I all would have deserved. Instead, he just laughed.

"Charlie..."

"Let me guess. You're sorry, right."

"Yes", I whispered as tears began to fall.

What else could I possibly say?

"Don't be. It's my fault. I should have known better."

"Charlie..."

"No, it's my fault, Mary-Courtney for trying to pretend even if only for a minute that everything was okay between us. Nothing is okay anymore and it hasn't been for a while. I doubt it will ever be."

"Look, I didn't mean it..."

"Are you sure? Because if you did, there's no point in denying it anymore. Damn, Mary-Courtney, I can't keep doing this. I can't. This is killing me inside. You're killing me."

"I know. I know and I'm sorry. You don't deserve this. I keep trying to do better but I only end up making things worse."

"God, what do you want from me?"

"I...I don't know. I just wanted one night. I wanted one night where things were normal and beautiful and perfect between us like they used to be before I fucked everything up."

"I want that too but what are we doing? Really. Are we kidding ourselves? Just prolonging the pain?"

"I don't know."

"I thought we could have the good times again. I guess that was pretty stupid, huh? What's the saying? One time, shame on you, second time shame on me."

"Don't do this."

"What? I was the dummy thinking we could have one night here alone without Ronnie Bass in bed with us."

"Charlie, please."

"I'm not doing this with you anymore, Mary-Courtney. I can't, I swear to God. I love you and I'm trying to be patient and let you get yourself together but this is ridiculous. It's a ridiculous game with no end in sight. You say you want to be with me, then be with me! But if you're gonna be with me then I need all of you. One hundred percent of your mind, body and soul. I need all of you 24/7. I'm sorry but I can't, no I won't settle for anything less. And if you can't handle that and if you aren't willing to go that distance with me, for me...then what the hell are we trying to save here? And as much as it makes me want to puke saying this, if you want Ronnie, if that's where your heart is, then you have to go to him, Mary-Courtney. But you have to do something and fast because this whole little love triangle is getting a little old."

"I know", I whispered.

He was right, so right but what was I supposed to do? How could he judge me when he didn't know the turmoil I was going through inside?

"Listen, um, I'm just gonna go crash on the couch."

"No Charlie, you don't have to do that..."

"Yes I do."

"No...you don't."

"I do. Because I can't handle being so close to you now. I'm trying to deal with you loving him but this is crazy. It's too much for any one person to take."

"Charlie..."

"When I look into your eyes, Mary-Courtney...I see him. And when you look into my eyes, you see him too. You can't even make love to me without seeing him and that's where I draw the line."

Fresh tears welled in my eyes and my bottom lip trembled furiously as I struggled to keep my emotions in check. With a final sigh, Charlie placed one last kiss on my forehead before grabbing a blanket and pillow and heading off to the living room. And once again I was alone. Alone with my thoughts and feelings, ones I had been trying desperately for so long to escape. I did the only thing I could do. I rolled over to the empty space beside me and cried my heart out.


	14. Moving Forward, Stepping Back

"Kiddo, you absolutely have to come shopping with me", Alice announced dramatically as she plopped in front of my desk.

"Alice, how do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Have a normal conversation with that cigarette dangling?"

"Trust me, it takes years of practice. Anyway, we have to go shopping."

Alice always made me smile. She was like a breath of smoke filled fresh air whenever I needed. Her friendship had kept me sane and had been the only source of normalcy in the past few months of my turbulent life.

"And why do we have to go shopping?"

She proudly handed me an envelope fresh from the office mailroom from one of our biggest clients that had worked on a huge account our firm closed.

"Mr. Timothy Barrett, yes as in Barrett & Barrett Associates wants to take little old me out for a night of dinner and dancing as a token of his appreciation for all my help on his deal. And of course I don't have a thing to wear. You have got to help me pick out a fur..."

"Fur? Weren't you just into saving the whales last week?" I teased.

"Oh. Yeah. Right. Well then faux fur."

"Faux fur...riiiight", I laughed.

"If you would clean this rat's nest of a desk you might find an invitation or two in here yourself, Mary-Courtney."

"Great. That's all I need", I said, rolling my eyes.

"Gosh, it must be three weeks worth of mail here, kid."

"I'll get to it."

Blowing smoke rings into the air, Alice ignored me and began sifting through my mess.

"Luncheon...luncheon...staff notes...you just won a million dollar sweepstakes...appreciation note from the boss...airline vouchers....Ronnie Bass...account invoices..."

We stopped and looked at each other at the same time. Alice abruptly handed me a white envelope that had been postmarked from Greenville, South Carolina. I sat there for what seemed like forever just staring at it.

"Mary-Courtney, you're killing me here, kid. Open it up! What does it say?"

With trembling hands I opened the envelope and my eyes scanned through his familiar handwriting. My heart caught in my throat and I don't think I took a single breath the entire time I was reading. When I was done I could finally exhale.

"You okay?" Alice asked nervously.

I nodded and handed her the letter to read which she did so carefully. When she was done we sat there in silence.

"Mary-Courtney?"

"I need a cigarette", I blurted out.

Alice tossed me her pack and we puffed together in silence.

"You know, this changes everything, Mary-Courtney."

"Yeah", I coughed. "I know."

* * *

It was dark outside when I finally got home and Charlie was already inside the apartment making dinner.

"Hey", he smiled when he looked up and saw me.

"Hey."

"How was your day?"

"Okay...um, Charlie can we talk? There's something I need to show you."

He stopped what he was doing and reluctantly gave me his undivided attention.

"What's up?"

I simply handed him the envelope from which he began to read Ronnie's letter out loud.

_18 March 1979_

_Dear Mary-Courtney,_

_I know it's been a while since we talked and maybe it's better that way. At least that is what my head tells me but I wish someone would try and explain that to my heart. You are a wonderful person and we've always shared such a special friendship for so many years. All I ever wanted is for you to be truly happy. I know I keep saying that and I just realized that might be the case if just maybe I left you alone. It troubles me to know that you found such a good thing with someone as great as Charlie and I let my selfishness ruin that. So this is the last time you'll hear from me for a while but there are two things I wanted you to know. First of all, Pam died. She passed on the 4th of this month. I can't explain how rough this whole year has been on me, especially these past few weeks. It was hard to watch her suffer yet it inspired me to watch her put up such a gallant fight. It was impossible almost for me to have to accept the fact that she was going to die yet in her darkest hours, I actually wished for it. Then it happened. There was no noise, just peace. And although a part of me died with her, and I will miss her forever, I take comfort in knowing she is now in a much better place. She will always be young and beautiful and more importantly she won't have to hurt anymore. It also warms me that she was such a special person who had the chance to live an extraordinary life in the few years she was on earth. I'm just blessed to have been a part of that...to have loved her and have her love me back. Pam's life and death put so much into perspective for me and that's the second thing I wanted to talk to you about. Mary-Courtney, you have been more of a comfort, inspiration, and friend than I've ever had in my life...and probably ever will. I cherish you as a person as I treasure all the time we got to spend together. Your love, your friendship, your spirit and your smile will be with me forever. I used to sit back and second guess certain choices I've made and wonder and worry and sort through all the "what ifs", especially when it came to us. I can't and won't do that anymore. It isn't right and it isn't fair. All I can do now is tell you what you've meant to meant to me and then give us both the space to move on. For the first time in a long time I feel truly at peace with my life and with myself and that's a pretty nice feeling to have. I wish you that same sense of peace and also the love and joy you so desperately seek and deserve. Charlie is a good man and a lucky man. I hope that you both find it in your hearts to forgive me and each other for all the unnecessary pain that has been caused. All I've ever wanted is what's best for you, Mary-Courtney. I want you to be happy. I want you to be okay. Promise me that you'll take care of yourself. You're the strongest person I know, so I know everything is going to turn out okay. Just never look back and blame yourself. Don't focus on the past because the whole world is now at your feet. I love you so much always and forever._

_Ronnie_

"I don't know why I showed you that Charlie but I felt like it was important that you read it."

"Damn", he joked. "Now I know why this Ronnie Bass character is so wonderful."

"Charlie..."

"No, I mean it Mary-Courtney. You showing me this letter, him writing it...it all makes sense now. This letter set his soul free and now yours can be too."

"Charlie, what are you saying?"

"I know I'm gonna want to kick my own ass later but I'm saying go to him."

"What?"

"You heard me. Go. Because if you don't, right this very minute, you're gonna spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been."

"But I love you..."

"And I love you too, babe. Believe me, more than you could know. This hurts me but it needs to be done. They say if you love something, then let it go and if it comes back then it's truly yours and it was truly meant to be. Now it's time for me to man up and put that to the test. I'm letting you go, Mary-Courtney."

"What about us?"

"If you go, and your heart tells you to come back to me, then we go on and put all this crap behind us. If you go and your heart is with him, then at least we know and you'll be where you need to be. But this is do or die, babe. As much as I love you and want and need you, I can't spend the rest of my life with you if you're not sure about us."

I wiped away tears. Charlie was so right and I knew it. I knew what I had to do, I guess I had known all along. Still it was much harder than I had ever imagined. And once again through all the pain and frustration, Charlie was still there for me.

"No matter what, I'm gonna love you forever, Charles Foreman."

"And I'm gonna love you forever too. Now go. Go before I change my mind."

"Are you sure?" I asked, giving him one last hug.

"I'm positive. It's time for all of us to move on, especially you, Mary-Courtney. But sometimes in order to go forward, we have to start by taking a step back."


	15. Almost Like Old Times

5306 Lakeside Way. I stared at the address scrawled on crumpled paper for the hundredth time. It had been a whirlwind trip and I was exhausted and after 802.3 miles via my Trans Am, I was quite sure I looked like pure hell. Still something inside fought off the confusion and exhaustion and forced me to just keep going on. There was a sense of tremendous relief as I hit the South Carolina state line, then the Greenville city limits but two obstacles lingered. One... I passed apartments and houses for miles and miles where the normal people lived closer to the small city but the more I drove the farther 5306 Lakeside Way seemed to get. Damn, why couldn't Ronnie be like everyone else? Why the hell did he have to live so far out? I was nervous, dead tired, and literally about to burst with pee! Two...There was the tiny footnote that he had no idea I was coming.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, I turned down the winding, private one lane road. Large trees scarily loomed over it and after what felt like a second forever, I saw the reason for which the road was names. There was a large and beautiful lake, surrounded by even larger and more beautiful trees. In the distance I could see the small cabin like house. I smiled as I pulled up to it. The place was perfect for Ronnie...simple, different, beautiful, one with nature. Feelings of happiness, relief and utter panic raced over me as I saw what I presumed to be his car parked in the driveway. This is it, you idiot, I thought as I opened my car door. It was crunch time...now or never.

My heart pounded as I knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked a little longer and a little harder. Still no answer. Then I was practically banging. Still...nothing. It made me laugh out loud. First a little chuckle to myself then roaring, side splitting laughter. What the hell had I gotten myself into? What was I thinking driving 12 hours and 20 minutes straight? For what? To "figure things out" with Ronnie Bass? Ronnie and I had been "figuring things out" for eight years! I was tired. I was tired and cold and hungry and about to pee on myself. I couldn't have looked like a bigger fool if I had tried.

"Mary-Courtney?"

He appeared from the side of the house, firewood bundled underneath his arm. 

"Hi", I said.

It was all that would come out.

"Man, I'd know that laugh anywhere. It reminded me of the night we all went camping after graduation and we ended up forgetting our food, there were no port a potties, and Petey had you scared to sleep thinking bears were gonna eat us. You were so scared and tired and frustrated you just started laughing."

"I remember", I nodded.

"So...um, what brings you by?"

"I have to pee", I blurted out. "Do you mind?"

"No", he replied with a bit of a half bewildered smile. "Bathroom is inside, last door on the right."

"Thanks", I mumbled.

I used the restroom and while washing my hands caught a glimpse of the sight in the mirror. Blonde hair with painfully obvious dark roots limply fell down my shoulders. My skin was rather pale and I could have used a spot of make up and a change of clothes for that matter. What was Ronnie thinking? Sure physically he had seen me during the best of times and during the worst of times but what shock he must have been in when I came waltzing back into his life with only a "hello" and a request to use his bathroom.

"So", he said, awkwardly, handing me a mug of hot cider. "Were you just in the neighborhood or what?"

"No...I read the letter you sent. Charlie read it too. I think it put a whole lot into perspective for everyone. Things haven't been normal or that great for Charlie and me ever since that first night I saw you in that café during the snowstorm. It's been hard on him...on both of us. I don't know. I know it doesn't make sense, but I had to see you, just like you had to see me New Year's", I blurted out apologetically.

"Has anything ever been normal or made sense with us?" he grinned.

It was a real smile, a beautiful one where those blue eyes absolutely sparkled.

"No I guess it hasn't", I agreed.

"Well I just about to start dinner. You can stay if you want...that is if you don't have to get right back to Milwaukee and everything", he teased.

"Oh I think I have a few minutes to spare", I winked.

Ronnie tossed me a cold bottled beer and went about preparing what was to be supper. Almost immediately I felt so happy and comfortable to be in his company. We just fell back into that old zone where everything was okay and it was the most natural thing in the world to kick back, converse, and guzzle a few brews.

"Bon apetit", he said after an hour or so, revealing the meal he had been slaving over.

Pot roast, green beans, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and dinner rolls.

"Wow", I said, utterly astonished.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing...this looks delicious. Wow. Ronnie, I'm impressed. If it tastes as good as it smells and looks..."

"Okay now I'm really offended", he said, throwing up his arms and pretending to be hurt. "Are you insinuating that I'm not a good cook? Did you expect anything less?"

"Yes and yes", I laughed. "Come on, Mr. Bass. Let's see, last time you cooked for me, I was treated to the gourmet platter of canned ravioli, Ramen noodles and Corn Flakes, stale Corn Flakes might I add because someone at this table, who shall remain anonymous, was too lazy to close the cereal box."

"Unbelievable", he shook his head with that sexy grin. "Unbelievable! Damn girl, you have the memory of an elephant. You don't forget anything, do you? For your information, that was a long time ago back in my college freshman days where canned ravioli was like a Porterhouse steak in those days. Anyway, I have come a long way. I thought you might appreciate a down home country cooking Southern meal. Perhaps another time I can wow you with my five star Italian meal or maybe my kick ass West Coast platter."

"Anytime", I laughed as I bit into the tender, sautéed meat. "As long as it tastes this good. Nice work, Bass. I'm proud of you."

"Your approval and gratitude is much appreciated, Davis", he winked. "Now let's toast."

"What should we toast to?" I asked as I raised my bottle.

"Let's see...to old friends, to reunions, to disheveled but beautiful strangers that show up at your front door from three states away."

"I know I must look a fright..."

"I was just kidding", Ronnie said, gently kneading my palm with his fingers. "You look absolutely amazing."

"The cooking has improved, the lying hasn't", I teased.

"I'm being serious", he said in a low voice. "I mean, sure you look great with the make up and the clothes and the hair all done up but this is when I like you best. Right here, right now, just like this. Simple and natural and just gorgeous."

My heart skipped two beats. I loved when he complimented me, when he talked to me in that quiet, sexy voice and when he gave me that serious, thoughtful look. God, I loved everything about Ronnie Bass.

"I'll drink to that", I shrugged. "Can I get another beer?"

"Sure thing", he said, tossing me another. "So...what's the plan, Mary-Courtney? I mean, assuming you have one. Are we gonna hang out for a few days? Do you plan on crashing here? What?"

"I'd like to hang out with you for a few days", I replied truthfully. "There are things I need to figure out, Ronnie...I guess we both do. You know that. Anyway, I don't want to think about that right now. I just want to let loose and have fun and just chill with my old friend. Are you okay with that?"

"I'm great with that, Mary-Courtney."

"Thank you", I smiled, grateful that the mood would stay light for the time being.

"So are you gonna stay here?"

"Do you want me to?"

"If you want."

"That's not what I asked you."

"Yeah...I'd like it very much if you would stay."

I couldn't hide my Cheshire grin. After all that had happened the last few months, there was something rather appealing about spending time with Ronnie in his cozy little remote cabin by the lake. We finished supper and washed the dishes together. Afterwards, Ronnie made a fire while I took a much needed shower. The hot water felt wonderful against my hair, face and body. I finally forced myself to get out. I dried off and changed into a pair of flannel pajamas, where I joined him back in the living room area, hair still damp from its washing.

"Hot cocoa?" he offered.

"Mmmm...marshmallows", I swooned.

"Just like you like them."

"You remembered."

"I remember everything", he said.

Despite the warmth of the room, a chill ran over my entire body. We were sitting just a little too close and the light from the fire cast a dim and almost romantic like glow. Ronnie was casually dressed in sweat pants and a tee shirt that clung to every taunt, tanned muscle.

"So when you're at work tomorrow, shall I do the hunting and the fishing and wash our clothes along the rover bank?" I joked.

"Are you making fun of my humble little abode in the boondocks?"

"No but I am teasing you. Your place is great and it is absolutely breathtaking out here but I figured it to be a little too country for the hippie boy. I thought for sure you'd have a place closer to the beach."

"I don't know, I guess Alexandria changed me. I will forever and always be the hippie boy but I guess I'm a little bit country too now although if you ever repeat that I will have to deny it then kill you. I mean, I still love the beach but this is great. This is me, you know?"

"I know", I said, sipping again from my steaming mug.

"Besides I don't want to be a rude host. I have some vacation days I can cash in so we can hang out during the day and stuff."

"Sounds good."

"It'll be fun. You should get some sleep though. There are some things I want to show you tomorrow. We'll have to get up early."

"Okay."

"Are you sure you don't want to take my bed?"

"Ronnie, this couch is fine. Really."

"You sure? You have enough blankets?"

"I'm good. I'm comfortable. Thanks for asking."

"Alright. Well, I'm right down the hall if you need me. Good night, Mary-Courtney."

I smiled and nestled into the covers on the couch. Worn out from my long journey, sleep came almost immediately. It had been a crazy spur of the moment idea and I'd had doubts here and there but overall my choice seemed like the right one. For once it felt like everything was going to be okay.

"Good night, Ronnie", I whispered to the empty darkness.


	16. Love Overboard

"Are we done yet?" I whined for what had to be the millionth time.

"You want to eat tonight, don't you?"

"Yeah but you've caught enough for the both of us."

"My fish...my dinner. You on the other hand, my lady...well it's looking pretty sad", Ronnie teased with a wink and grin.

"Ha ha, very funny, Mr. Bass."

"What? You're not having a good time? It's called trolling for trout."

"It's called being bored and cold and hungry if you ask me", I muttered.

I was being a brat and Ronnie knew it. That's just the way we teased each other. We'd always had that playful type of relationship. Granted I was hungry and cold, I was actually far from being bored. It had been a good day. Ronnie woke me up at the butt crack of dawn and after a hearty breakfast we had spent the morning hiking in the hills and woods near his house. It had been a long time since I'd had an adventurous day out...in fact, it hadn't been since my days at T.C. Williams when our little gang would often get together for camping and such. I'd almost forgotten how much fun it was. And it was fun! Ronnie and I were having a blast. I loved pattering through the trails with him and talking about everything under the sun. It was nice to be friends again and be together without all the drama and heavy baggage looming all around us.

After our morning hike, we had ventured into town where Ronnie showed me around. Greenville was a small city but nice with a very homey and comforting quality to it. We spent the afternoon window shopping and browsing antique shops. It was the little things, the simple stuff that I enjoyed the most. And it was something so familiar and refreshing about being with him after all those years.

After a trip to the grocery store and a brief discussion concerning dinner plans, Ronnie had suggested that we take his small powered boat out on the lake and go fishing. It was nice...calm and peaceful as we laughed and joked as the boat guided aimlessly across the smooth waters. Ronnie was an excellent fisherman and had zero trouble with his catches. I on the other hand was entering my third hour losing streak.

"This sucks", I muttered. "You're cheating."

"Cheating?" Ronnie laughed. "Mary-Courtney, how can I cheat at fishing?"

"I don't know", I shrugged, trying to hide my burgeoning grin. "You just are. It's no fair because this is your territory."

"Oh yeah. The fish and I have a little pact going."

"Probably so. You probably warned them ahead of time not to go anywhere near my line", I laughed.

He shook his head and smiled that beautiful heartwarming smile of his that lit up his entire face. For a few minutes it was like our own little heaven. Just Ronnie and me away from the weight and worries of the world, at one with nature and our surroundings guiding across the still lake.

"Oh shit!" I screamed.

"Mary-Courtney, you okay?" Ronnie asked with a worried look.

"Oh...oh my God! My line! I think I got something."

He grinned at my excitement as I tugged and tried my best to reel in the fish.

"Reel a little harder."

"I am...I got it!"

Sure we were trolling for trout so to speak but it felt more like a killer whale on the other end of my line. The fish and I were in a battle to the death and it felt like he was winning.

"Let me help you..."

"Nah, I got it."

I stood up, bound and determined to secure my catch.

"Mary-Courtney, be careful."

"Ronnie, I'm fine."

"Just be careful, I don't want you to..."

Too late. Before he could say the word, it happened. I lost my balance and overboard I went. Immediately I bobbed to the service where Ronnie was holding my rod.

"Oh God, get me out of this water!" I screamed as he helped me back in the boat.

It was a pleasant surprise to see the squirming fish at the end of my hook.

"Congratulations! I'm impressed."

"That's a big trout."

"No it's not", he chuckled. "You caught a bass."

We took one look at each other, my drenched clothes and the subject of his intended pawn and burst out laughing. We laughed for what felt like forever. I hadn't had that much fun in ages.

"What are you doing?" Ronnie asked as I released our little friend back into the water.

"What? You saw the way he was flopping around. I felt bad. I didn't want to kill him."

"Kill or be killed, eat or be eaten. That's the law of the land, Mary-Courtney. I mean, it's kind of the point of going fishing. That was dinner tonight."

"It'll be okay. I didn't want to kill the poor fella. I just wanted to prove to you that I could catch a fish. I did, my point was well taken, the fish lives and everybody is happy."

Ronnie laughed again and just shook his head.

"What?"

"Nothing, Mary-Courtney. You're just still the same impossible brat. Man, what am I gonna do with you?"

"I'm so offended", I teased.

"Whatever. Come on. Let's get back to the house and get you out of those wet clothes before you catch pneumonia."

Ronnie steered the boat back to land and we giggled like school girls as we raced to the house. By that time I was freezing but I didn't mind. I was just enjoying my good time. I smiled all the way through my hot shower onto when I sat bundled up in blankets and flannel pajamas teasing Ronnie as he cleaned then cooked our supper.

"Kudos to the chef", I laughed as I helped clear the dishes.

"I try my best even though that big old bass would have been mighty tasty..." he joked.

"It was a good deed. We'll go to heaven."

Ronnie laughed again, this time long and hard until tears rolled down his cheeks and he clutched at his sides.

"Do I amuse you that much, Sunshine?"

"Yeah...yeah you do. I guess I missed that, you know? Didn't know how much until just now. You crack me up and more importantly you can laugh at yourself and that's pretty cool. I'm glad you came down, Mary-Courtney. I like having you around. This is fun. Just like old times."

"Yeah...just like old times."

Our smiles began to fade and were replaced with awkward, longing glances filled with nostalgia from long ago. I felt something heavy come on and it unnerved me. I didn't want to think or be serious. I just wanted to keep having fun. Ronnie must have sensed and shared my sentiments.

"Hey, you want to do something with me?"

"Pardon me?" I asked with a confused expression.

He gave me a small smile and then removed his sweater, exposing tanned and muscular arms that protruded from his wife beater tee shirt.

"You remember the moves, don't you?"

How could I forget? Tai che, of course. I smiled as we went through the movements in front of the roaring fire place. It was calming and relaxing and I had always loved watching Ronnie do it. His moves were so graceful yet at the same time still managed to be masculine and sexy.

Afterwards, we sat on the floor and just meditated. I felt like all the tension and the pressure just evaporated from my body. It was a nice feeling.

"So...are you having a good time?"

I nodded as I sipped cocoa from my mug. Enjoying hot chocolate in front of the fire seemed to be our nightly pre bedtime ritual.

"I'm having a great time."

"So...what happens now? With us? With everything?"

"I don't know. I don't want this to sound bad but right now I don't want to think about it and I don't want to talk about it, you know? Eventually it's something we'll have to deal with and that's primarily the reason why I'm here but for now I just want to have fun. I just want to enjoy this time together when it's uncomplicated and lighthearted and wonderful. I want us to just be for now. Does that make sense?"

"All the sense in the world", he nodded. "I'm really glad you're here, Mary-Courtney."

"Me too", I smiled.


	17. Like Heaven, Like Home

It rained the night of March 26, 1979. It was cold and dreary, absolutely miserable and had kept us trapped indoors all day long. There was a TV to keep us occupied and we had decent conversation but I felt more restless than a hooker in church.

"You want to listen to music?" Ronnie suggested.

"What do you have?"

"Everything", he grinned.

I looked through his record collection that included albums by everyone from Kool and the Gang to the Doors. Ronnie and I had always shared a diverse interest in music and art.

"How about this one?" I smiled.

I took a deep breath, cleared my throat and grabbed the nearest makeshift microphone I could find...the kitchen groom. I released my hair from it's messy bun and prepared to give the performance of a lifetime.

_Lovely Is The Feelin' Now  
Fever, Temperatures Risin' Now  
Power (Ah Power) Is The Force The Vow  
That Makes It Happen It Asks No Questions Why (Ooh)  
So Get Closer (Closer Now)  
To My Body Now Just Love Me  
'Til You Don't Know How (Ooh)  
  
Keep On With The Force Don't Stop  
Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough  
Keep On With The Force Don't Stop  
Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough  
Keep On With The Force Don't Stop  
Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough  
Keep On With The Force Don't Stop  
Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough_

Ronnie laughed as I danced around the living room.

"Not exactly the reception I was hoping for", I said, breathless.

"No, it's cute", he grinned. "You always were a huge Michael Jackson fan."

"Of course. He's the best...the king."

"Okay, well how about this..."

Ronnie switched records then reached for his guitar as he played along.

_You act like a prima donna  
Playing so hard to get  
Sittin' so cool and nonchalant  
Draggin' on a cigarette  
You keep a wall all around ya  
'n I'll get through some day  
'n I want your love babe, if push comes to shove  
Gonna chip that wall away  
  
Chip away  
Chip away at the stone  
I won't stop 'til your love is my very own  
Chip away  
That's what I'm gonna do  
Sweet little mama I wanna get next to you_

I loved Aerosmith. Along with up and comers Van Halen, they were among my favorite band. I liked the song too but it was hard to concentrate as Ronnie played along with his guitar. It was just something about those perfectly tanned arms.

"Now what?" he asked. "What should we sing along to next?"

"I don't care", I shrugged. "I think Michael wore me out. Just put on anything we can chill to."

Ronnie nodded and put on more music while I removed my sweatshirt. In the process my tank top rose as well, exposing the flat of my belly. I blushed as I saw Ronnie looking at my body, his thoughts just as distracted as mine were while I looked at him.

"Do you think you'll ever go back?" I asked.

"Back where?"

"Alexandria."

"I don't know", he shrugged. "I love it there. My parents are there. It'll always be home I guess but I don't know. After we left Huntington Beach that summer I missed California so much I figured that I'd always move back there. Then I came to school here and I don't know...I really like it, I guess. I'm happy. What about you, Mary-Courtney? Think you'll ever go back?"

"I don't know either. I miss it sometimes or maybe I just miss what it was to me back then, you know? It kind of represents innocence and simplicity and happiness and friendship. That's what I love about it the most but I doubt I'll ever go back for good. I don't know where I'll end up. I love Milwaukee but that's not really home either. Neither was New York."

"Home is where your heart is."

"I don't know where my heart is", I said quietly.

"I remember when it used to be in Virginia when mine was too. We were so happy. We'd have so much fun together. I remember we'd meet up between classes and at lunch in school. I felt so proud every time I saw you wearing my letter jacket. It was just nice...at the games...after the games...my house, your house...the Hill."

"Make out central, huh?" I smirked.

"Yeah but it was more than that. Hell, we made out everywhere Mary-Courtney. It was cool but I just liked being with you. I liked everything about you. We were two peas in a pod. Just the way we shared views on politics and religion and social issues. We liked art and different kinds of music. We were just so in sync, you know? I liked that...I miss that."

"I miss it too."

"I guess that's just life, huh? People grow up...move on. Things change."

"Yeah..."

We were lying on blankets on the living room floor in front of a blazing fire while the rain splashed rhythmically on the roof. Although we'd only been sipping warm milk, I felt like I'd had four glasses of wine. There was something romantic and sensual and wildly intoxicating about being so close to Ronnie Bass.

"What?" he asked.

"What?"

"I asked you first. Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Like _that_."

The record changed and the sweet tunes of Solomon Burke's "Cry To Me" began to play. I'd always loved that song. It was something about **that **song.

"Ronnie...will you dance with me?"

"Are you serious?" he laughed.

"Yeah", I nodded.

"Here?"

"Here."

"Now?"

"Right now."

He stood, slowly reluctantly before coming over to me. My heart pounded as walked towards each other and I felt his strong arms slip around my waist.

_When your baby leaves you all alone_

_And nobody call you on the phone_

_Doncha feel like crying_

_Doncha feel like crying like crying like crying_

_C'mon baby, cry to me_

My hands rested on the small of his back relishing the scent and the very moment itself as he pulled my body close and began to sway to the music.

_When you're all alone in your lonely room_

_And there's nothing but the smell of her perfume_

_Doncha feel like crying_

_Doncha feel like crying like crying like crying_

_C'mon baby, (c'mon) cry to me_

My face was buried in his chest, the lingering aroma of his cologne pushed into my nose as I rested against his collarbone. There was an overwhelming urge to kiss it like I had so many times so many years ago. Want, love, need, nerves, fear, confusion and uncertainty stopped me from going to that one place on the nape of his neck that I knew drove him wild. Instead I let my lips brush ever so lightly across the area of his chest exposed by his tee.

_Nothing could be sadder than a glass of wine alone_

_Loneliness loneliness, it just a waste of your time_

_But you don't ever you don't ever have to walk alone_

_You see, so c'mon take my hand_

_C'mon walk with me_

He responded with a muffled moan escaping deep from the bottom of his throat. I closed my eyes as I felt his hands touch me. My breath was coming in bated spurts and I couldn't force myself to look him in the eye. Finally he tilted my chin upwards and our eyes met. Our minds and our bodies could try to fight the feelings between us but our hearts and souls could not. And our eyes had always been the windows to our souls.

_When you're waiting for a voice to come_

_In the night there is no one_

_Doncha feel like crying_

_Doncha feel like crying like crying like crying_

_C'mon baby, cry to me_

I shivered as his hands roamed my back and stomach and then finally he lifted the shirt over my head, tossing it to the side. I should have felt exposed in my bra, vulnerable in his presence but I only felt love. Only magic. The pure essence of what was Sunshine and Mary-Courtney.

_C'mon baby, that's right cry to me_

_Yes, I want you to come on baby_

_C'mon c'mon cry to me_

_I want you to c'mon baby_

_C'mon c'mon and cry to me_

Ronnie removed his shirt as well and there we were, face to face, flesh to flesh still moving in time to the music. Our faces were mere inches apart and that's when he moved in. After what seemed like an eternity his lips were finally on my lips. His tongue was finally in my mouth. So sweet, so gentle and tender....soft...beautiful. I almost wept.

_Yeah c'mon baby c'mon I want you to cry cry cry to me_

_Yeah I want you to cry cry cry cry cry cry cry_

_I want you to cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry..._

Ronnie carried me to his bed and laid me down without protest. We undressed each other as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I felt so beautiful and wanted and loved.

"Mary-Courtney, are you sure you want to..."

"Shhhhhh", I said, putting a finger to his lips.

Then I kissed him, knowing that would answer his question and erase any lingering doubts. He knew me like a book. He knew what I was thinking and feeling and he knew what I wanted next. I closed my eyes and moaned as I felt his hands, his mouth all over me. The physical pleasure and emotional intimacy was overpowering. And then he was inside me and we were one...again. It felt like love, like kismet, like heaven...like home.


	18. Where Do You Want To Be?

**_Author's Note: No, this isn't the end YET but I'm getting there slowly but surely. Hope everyone who is reading (if you are reading) is enjoying the story. Feel free to review with rants, positive feedback, or criticism. Thanks KJFlygirl87 for your faithful reviews throughout this fic as well as Spunky-hyper-girl. And to erasde89, thanks for the feedback...I'm sure there are "lurkers" out there so it's nice to know someone is actually reading and liking it. I truly appreciate the comments guys...it motivates me beyond belief. Now all I have is one question...oh where oh where is my Sundiata????_**

****

My eyes fluttered open and it took a while for them to adjust to the sunlight which was peering in through the open blinds. For a split second the events of the previous night replayed themselves inside my head and I had to wonder if it was all just a dream. Then I felt the strong arms wrapped around me and the warmth of the beautiful body lying beside me and I knew that it had not been a dream after all. In fact, it had been very, very real.

I smiled as I watched Ronnie sleep peacefully next to me. He was such a beautiful man...even in sleep. His breathing was soft and even, his bare chest rose and fell rhythmically. I ran my hands through his hair and let my fingertips trace the line of his jaw. I loved watching him sleep and I had done so so many times before.

"I love you", I whispered as I planted a tiny kiss on his nose.

Then I slid out of bed and reached for my bag, quietly slipping my clothes back on.

"Mary-Courtney?"

Ronnie called my name as he yawned and stretched, raising himself to a sitting position.

"Good morning", I smiled.

"Yeah...good morning. What are you doing?"

"Getting dressed."

"I can see that. I mean, why? I was hoping we could be lazy in bed for a while then I wanted to make breakfast for you."

I smiled as I remembered the days of not so long ago after high school and in college when Ronnie and I would sleep late after a marathon night of lovemaking. Then we'd wake up and lounge around for hours as we laughed, talked and held each other. Then he'd always serve me breakfast in bed. Granted most of the time it was cereal out of a box, but still it was the thought that counted and we had endless good times sitting in bed naked, acting goofy and eating Raisin Bran together.

"Ronnie, I have to go."

I said the words and he knew automatically what I meant.

"You mean back to Milwaukee, right?"

"Yes. I..."

"Dammitt, Mary-Courtney!" he yelled. "I can't believe this!"

"Ronnie..."

"No! We have an unbelievable few days here and it's perfect and we're having a great time and it's just like it used to be between us, only a thousand times better. I felt like we reconnected. We spent time together, talked, had fun, got to catch up... then last night..."

"Ronnie, last night was incredible."

"Yeah it was. Didn't that mean anything to you?"

"Of course it did."

"If it did, then how could you just get up and get dressed and make plans to go back to him?"

"Ronnie..."

"Damn you, Mary-Courtney. You know, I made a lot of mistakes when it came to us that I have to live with everyday. I have a lot of regrets and I'm sorry but I thought you had forgiven me for all that."

"Ronnie, I..."

"I thought this was our second chance. I thought we would be able to get it right this time. I thought we could start over."

"Ronnie wait..."

"But I guess not, huh? I guess it's back to the games again. I just don't understand how you could make love to me then just walk away."

"Ronnie!"

"I love you, Mary-Courtney. There it is. I said it. Not for one moment did I ever stop being in love with you. I think you should know that. I love you and I'll never stop but if you walk out the door, if you walk away from what we could have, then I swear to God that I hate you."

"Ronnie Bass..."

"Dammitt, I didn't mean that, okay? Look, I could never hate you and you know that. I love you...too much sometimes, I think. But if you leave, if you walk away...then don't bother coming back. Because I can't take the games and the revolving door. I definitely can't take knowing that you're with another man."

It had been a long time since I had seen Ronnie that upset. His voice was rising and his face was flustered as he moved about the room desperately trying to keep a firm grip on the sheet draped around his nude waist.

"Ronald Edwin Bass, are you done?" I asked exasperated with my hands on my hips. "Huh? Can I finally get a word in edgewise?"

"I guess I was just fooling myself. When it comes down to it with us, the answer is always no."

"Yes!" I screamed.

"It's just that...wait, what did you say?"

"I said yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! A hundred times yes!"

"Mary-Courtney..."

"Damn babe, if you had cooled it with the tantrum, I could have told you five minutes ago what's really going on. I love you too, Ronnie. I always have, always will. Nothing has changed. I look at you now and it's just like it was eight years ago...I still see the same beautiful, wonderful man. I still get the butterflies when I'm around you and when I'm not with you my heart aches because I want to be with you. None of that has changed at all Ronnie. I fell in love with you eight years ago when I was just a kid. And yeah our love was real but we both had a lot of growing up to do. We had to change and move on and experience life. We went down so many winding roads but they all ended up leading back to each other. And now I know in my heart, 100 without a doubt that I am head over heels in love with you and that I want to be with you."

"Mary-Courtney, I have waited forever to hear you say those words and I feel the same way but now what? I wake up and you're getting dressed and it looks like you're sneaking off and you tell me you love me and you want me, yet you're going back to Milwaukee...I guess I'm just confused. I don't know what it all means."

"It means exactly what I said. All those feelings are true but I have, or at least had a life back in Milwaukee and..."

"What about a life here? What about starting a new life...with me?"

"Is that what you want? Do you really want me to move here? With you?"

"Yes. Man, I want that more than anything. I just want you, Mary-Courtney."

"I want it too babe but we, I, have to do it the right way. I have friends I need to say good bye to. I have a job that I have to give notice to. I have to end things with Charlie the right way. I have to look him in the eye and tell him it's over and why. I owe him that."

"So that's what you're doing? And then you're coming back?"

"Yes", I smiled. "That was the plan all along. I made my choice Ronnie and I choose you. I choose us."

He breathed a sigh of relief as he reached out to me. We held each other for a long time.

"I love you, Mary-Courtney. I want to make it right this time. I want it to work."

"Me too."

"I may have hurt you in the past but I've never lied to you."

"I know."

"Then you also know that my word is my word. And I'm giving you my word that from here on out, this minute forward, I pledge to love you and be with you and protect you and never hurt you again. I want you, I want us forever. That's what I want, Mary-Courtney but you've got to want it too."

"I do. You have my heart...and pretty soon you'll have the rest of me too...all of me."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

We kissed tenderly at first, then with more passion. I got lost inside that kiss like I had so many times. I ran my fingers through his hair and he moaned in my mouth as we gently fell back on the bed. I gave a little chuckle as Ronnie had lost his battle with the bed sheet and his most private parts were in plain view.

"Hey, can a guy get a little privacy around here?" he joked, as he covered himself with the sheet.

"I don't see anything _little_ at all, trust me", I teased as I licked my lips.

We laughed and kissed again. Finally Ronnie pulled away and held me in his arms as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

"What?" I asked.

"I love you", he whispered.

"I love you, too."

"So this is it? We're really gonna do this, huh? It's for real this time?"

"For real", I nodded.

"You just made me the happiest man alive. This, you...us is what I've wanted for so long."

"I know. Me too."

"I hope so. Mary-Courtney, I hope you've wanted this. I hope this is where you want to be."

"It is", I smiled as I kissed him again. "Ronnie, I want to be wherever you are."


	19. The Truth Shall Set You Free

I watched from afar with a smile as Alice managed to bitch out the intern, eat a chicken salad sandwich, file her nails, flirt with her boyfriend over the phone and smoke a cigarette...all at the same time! It made me smile and it made me sad as well. I knew I would miss the little things the most.

"Hey kid", she said, motioning me over to her desk as she ended her phone call. "Long time no see. Is this welcome back?"

"Actually..."

"More like good bye, huh?"

"Yeah...good bye. It's just that it sounds so dreary and permanent. How about a see you later?"

"Whatever floats your boat, kiddo", Alice smiled. "Just as long as you're happy."

"I am", I said for the first time in a long time. "I mean, I will totally miss Milwaukee and I'll miss this job and my friends and stuff but at the same time I'm really looking forward to being with Ronnie and starting a new life together in South Carolina."

"South Carolina, huh? I guess the Belle makes her grand return after all", Alice joked. "But seriously Mary-Courtney, I'm happy for you. I hope it all works out."

"It will", I smiled. "I have a good feeling about this and I owe it all to you, Alice."

"Me?"

"Yeah. You've always been a good friend to me. You helped me out a lot with work stuff when I first got here and you were always around to go shopping with or have a beer after work. We had good times and I'll really miss that. I'm gonna miss you. You taught me a lot and you shared a lot too. I really appreciate that, Alice. I hope that we stay in touch because I can't afford to not have someone as wonderful as you in my life."

I expected her to laugh or brush me aside and tell me to quit being so damned mushy because that was just Alice's way. Instead, I saw tears in her eyes and she pulled me in for a hug.

"I'm proud of you, Mary-Courtney. You're doing the right thing for yourself and I know you're gonna be fine. Ronnie or no Ronnie, you're a strong and beautiful girl. I'm glad I met you and I love you, kid. You take care of yourself."

"I love you too."

We embraced and cried quietly for a few minutes before Alice finally pulled away. She wiped her eyes and managed a smile.

"Now get the hell out of here with all that mushy crap. I'll see you when I see you, kid."

That was her way of saying good bye.

"Yeah... I'll see you. And don't worry. Your secret is safe with me."

"Secret?"

"Yeah, that you actually have a heart and not a lump of coal in there", I joked. "I won't tell anyone that I actually saw Alice Smith cry."

"Good because then I'd have to kill you. And for the record I wasn't crying. I had a lash in my eye."

"Whatever you say", I grinned. "Take care, Alice."

"You too, kid."

It was harder than I had imagined to say good bye and leave everything behind but there was still one more loose end that needed taking care of...

I turned the key and opened the door to the apartment for what would be the final time. Charlie was sitting on the couch watching television.

"Hi", I said softly.

"Hey."

"How have you been?"

"Good", he nodded.

"Listen, Charlie, I..."

"It's okay", he interrupted. "You don't have to say anything. I can look in your eyes and see it all."

I nodded and tried not to cry.

"Charlie, I am so sorry."

"I know you are. So am I. But what is done is done, right?"

"Yeah. I guess."

"It's okay, Mary-Courtney. Do what you have to do. You have to do what makes you happy. I guess somehow this is all for the best."

"Right now it doesn't feel that", I sighed.

"You'll be okay."

"Will you?"

"Yeah", he said after a moment. "I won't lie to you. This hurts, Mary-Courtney. Losing you is my worst fear come true but I don't regret telling you to go to him. It was the right thing to do. You had to know for yourself."

"I wish it could have been different", I said as I gently rubbed his arm. "I never meant for you to get hurt. You don't deserve this."

"That's life. Shit happens, you know? I just don't want all this to be in vain. I want you to go on and be happy...even if it is with someone else."

We both cried together. This was so hard. Why couldn't he have just been an asshole? That would have made the situation so much easier? Why did I have to walk away from someone so kind?

"Well", I said after a few minutes. "I guess this is it. I guess I'd better go. This is good bye."

"I guess so."

"Um, the movers will be in the day after tomorrow, you know, to get the rest of my stuff, if that's okay. And um, this is the key. I left money in the account for rent."

"Thanks. Uh, day after tomorrow is fine."

It all sounded so cold and calculated.

"Okay", I breathed.

"Okay."

"Good bye, Charlie."

"Bye, Mary-Courtney."

I turned to leave but I couldn't. Not like that.

"I meant what I said, Charlie. I do love you. A part of me always will. Maybe it's selfish of me to say that to you but always remember that. Please."

"Mary-Courtney..."

"No, let me finish. Charlie, this was the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I feel like all this was done to me just as much as it was done by me. And I want you to know that even though I had to make a choice, it's not so much that I chose Ronnie over you. It was so much more complicated than that. You are a great man and you deserve a woman who is going to love you. You deserve more than me. I know you're angry and hurting inside but I pray one day you find it in you to forgive me. And I hope that you find peace and true love."

"Don't beat yourself up, Mary-Courtney. I don't hate you. I never could. And you're not the monster you're portraying yourself to be. We're just two people that got caught up in a very fucked up situation. Sometimes we don't get to choose who we love or who loves us back. Sometimes it just happens. I understand that now. I don't like it but I understand it. And I won't waste my time being bitter or angry. I just wish you well and I'm thankful for the time we had together. When it was good, it was great and I won't forget that. I hope you won't either."

I nodded and we held each other so tightly like our lives depended on it. I knew it was the last time. Finally we let go. We gave each other a smile and then I walked away and that was it. It was over. We had set each other free.

* * *

My hands shook as I knocked on the door. It was open so I took the liberty of letting myself in. The fire blazed inside and the whole placed smelled of fresh pine. I smiled as I sat my bags down and warmed my hands in front of the fireplace. This was it. This was where I wanted to be. This is what I had given up everything for.

"Hey."

"Hey", I said turning around to face him.

We just looked at each other for a while then Ronnie said the words I had been longing to hear.

"Welcome home, Mary-Courtney."


	20. The Biggest Change

_Six Months Later..._

A wide grin spread across my face as I made the turn onto Lakeside Way. Just the thought of going home to my cozy little cabin and my wonderful boyfriend was always enough to make me smile. It had been crazy to say the least but finally things had worked themselves out. It was at the end of March when I finally said good bye to Charlie and Milwaukee and hello to my new life in South Carolina with Ronnie Bass. Of course there was an initial pang of all out panic as I had never done such a hasty, impetuous decision in my life like packing up and leaving everything within a matter of days to start completely anew. But the minute I saw Ronnie's face again, the minute we settled into our routine of togetherness, I knew that not only had I made the right choice, I'd made the only choice.

We had spent that spring and summer getting reacquainted. A lot of fishing and hiking, camping trips and ventures to Myrtle Beach. No matter where we went or what we did, it was always bliss simply because we were with each other. I loved my new home in South Carolina and our relationship minus the drama, angst and uncertainty.

I sat in the Trans Am and took a deep breath just trying to get used to the many new changes in my life. I had yet made another crazy decision, one that I actually hadn't discussed with Ronnie beforehand. But he was always so loving and supportive and understanding. He knew me better than anyone and he had faith in me even when I didn't have it in myself.

"Babe!" I yelled as I walked into the house. "You here?"

"What's up?" he asked as he appeared from our bedroom.

His skin was pale and he looked a little anxious. I hoped I hadn't picked a horrible time to drop my latest little bomb.

"Sweetie, you look kind of sick. Is everything okay?" I asked.

"It's nothing. I'm cool. What's going on?"

"Okay", I breathed. "I think you better sit down."

"Uh oh."

"Ronnie, be serious. Okay. You know that guy I told you about at work, Fred Kelly?"

"The one that quit last week?"

"Yes. I kind of ran into him downtown this afternoon and we sort of had a drink and he told me that he is going out on his own. He's starting a company in the private sector manufacturing and selling concrete and fertilizer."

"That's cool. There's a lot of demand for that type of stuff around here."

"That's exactly what I was thinking", I said nervously.

"What is it, Mary-Courtney?"

"What is what?"

"Whatever it is you have to tell me. I know that look on your face. It's that Lucy Ricardo look you get when you've done something you don't want to tell me."

Damn, the man knew me too well sometimes.

"Okay. You know that I love you and I love our place and I love it here in South Carolina, right? Everything has been perfect except for my job. Um, you know I really haven't been that happy there since I started and it was basically just something to keep me busy and tide us over until I found something better."

"Okay..."

"Well I did it. I put in my notice and I'm going into business with Fred as a partner."

I looked to Ronnie for some sort of reaction but there really was none.

"Is this what you really want?" he finally asked.

"Yes...it is."

"Then go for it. You know I'll support anything you want to do."

His words were nice but there seemed to be zero emotion behind them. His lack of enthusiasm was rather disappointing.

"Is that all you have to say?" I asked.

"What? I said I was happy for you, baby."

"Yeah but try to contain your enthusiasm", I half joked. "You don't sound very happy. Look, I know this decision is a big deal and in a way it affects both of us. Maybe I should have discussed it with you first but I feel really good about this, Ronnie. I think Fred and I are going to do good things. I'm really excited. Babe, it's a hell of an opportunity and I'd get to be my own boss and most importantly, once this thing gets up and running, I think it's going to turn into a real cash cow and that would make me feel so much better since you're practically supporting both of us right now."

Ronnie managed a smile as he took my hand in his.

"Babe, sorry I don't sound all excited about this but I am really happy for you. I'm proud of you, Mary-Courtney. You're intelligent and business savvy and if this is something you really want then I have nothing but confidence in you."

"Thank you", I smiled.

"And it's not about money. You know better than that. We're equals, Mary-Courtney. We take care of each other. Whatever I have is yours anyway."

I rubbed the stubble on his chin and smiled. How did I ever get so lucky?

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

We kissed and sat on the couch as I went on and on about my day and fresh ideas for my new business prospect. Ronnie was polite and trying his best to be attentive but he a little distant.

"Everything okay, baby?" I asked several times during dinner.

"I'm fine", he'd shrug. "Just got some stuff on my mind."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really. It's okay."

I was worried and a little curious but felt it best to just give him his space. When he was up to it, I knew he'd tell me anyway. Besides, I was exhausted. So much had happened in the day and all I was looking forward to was a piping hot shower and a good night's sleep.

"Good night, Mr. Bass", I grinned as I turned back the covers on my side of the bed. "I am absolutely beat!"

"Um, I thought you were gonna sort the laundry."

Laundry? It was after ten and I was dead tired.

"I just want to sleep, babe. Really. I'll get to it tomorrow", I yawned.

"But you said you were gonna do it today and it's really starting to pile up."

"It's not a tragedy, Ron. It can wait. I promise you, I will tackle it tomorrow."

"But I have a meeting tomorrow morning and I don't have any shirts pressed", he whined.

"The blue one is in the closet."

"But I wanted to wear the white one...it matches the red tie."

His voice was practically pleading. He had never behaved that way before and he's picked a fine time to start. I was sleepy and cranky and he was really starting to piss me off.

"Fine", I said, dramatically throwing back the covers. "I don't know what happened to your arms and legs along the way but I will get up from my nice, comfy bed and in my sheer physical exhaustion, I will sort through that heaping mountain of clean clothes and iron your stupid white shirt!"

The nerve of him, I thought as I huffed all the way to the pantry. I had nearly worked myself into a minor fury as I finally located the precious shirt.

"Lazy jerk", I muttered as I flung open the pantry door and reached for the iron.

Something was entangled in the cord and I cursed as it dropped and I bent down to retrieve it. My heart stopped when I saw it was a tiny black box.

"Oh my God", I whispered over and over.

My hands trembled for minutes before I could open it. I gasped as I saw the gold band and the diamond placed on top of it. Tears clouded my eyes as I walked backed to the bedroom.

"I see you found your surprise", Ronnie said quietly.

"It's beautiful. Oh my God, it's perfect. I love it."

"Does that mean you're saying yes?"

"It depends on what you're asking me."

We both laughed as Ronnie clad in only boxers, climbed out of bed and assumed the one knee position.

"Mary-Courtney Davis, I love you. I've loved you almost my whole life and I figured that won't stop anytime soon so I was wondering if you'd do me the honor and be my wife."

A rush of joy and excitement I never thought possible built inside me, ready to explode at any moment like a volcano. I couldn't take it anymore as I screamed and climbed on our bed, jumping around and screaming like I was five years old.

"Please let that be a yes", Ronnie grinned.

"It is", I said breathless. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I will marry you."

He kissed me then let out a huge sigh of relief.

"You had me scared for a second."

"Like I'd turn you down?" I laughed.

"I just know that you said you were happy with us the way things were and that you didn't want anything to change. This is the biggest change of all. That's why I was so tweaked all day because I didn't know if you'd be cool with it."

"It's a good change", I smiled. "Trust me, I am very cool with this."

"I love you and I just want to make this permanent between us. I want to be with you forever, Mary-Courtney. And I don't care how you want to do it...something small on the beach, a large church wedding or just going before the justice of the peace. I just want to be together."

"Me too", I smiled as I kissed him. "Me too, baby."

All my dreams had finally come true and I had the perfect wedding in mind.


End file.
